Grace's Baptism

The joys of motherhood are many, but only birth can compare to the experience of leading a child to the Lord! I has this great opportunity on August 30th. Now, I give you the baptism!

This is my middle daughter, Grace, with my husband, Shawn in the baptismal waters. He had to help her swim to the red crate she's standing on! The water was up to her neck. We all got tickled, and I wish I had shot video instead of still photos.

Here she's coming back up out of the water. I am so proud of her! She is showing the world now that she is in Christ she has been raised from death to life to walk in His fullness!

On a lighter note, Abigail, our younger daughter, asked, "Grace, why come you were up there holdin' your nose and when you come up, your hair was all wet?" Grace replied, "Because I went under the water. That's what happens when you get baptized. One day you'll get baptized too, Sweetheart." And then they hugged! How precious is that!?!?!?!

God is soooo Good!...All the Time!

Abigail's Funnies

I wanted to share a few stories about Abigail. We were at my dad's house last Sunday eating lunch. My sister, Beth, was there. All the nieces and nephews call her "Becca". The conversations go something like this:

Beth: Abigail, I just love your freckles!

Abigail: Those are not freckles, Aunt Becca! They are just my polk-a-dots. I got one right there, and one right there, and one right there!

Later, Abigail and her oldest sister, Cara, were picking on each other. Abigail touches Cara on the shoulder with her index finger and says, "Caaarrrraaaa, I'm touching you!" And Cara is very aggravated by this! Next, Abigail touches Aunt Becca's leg with her toes.

Abigail: AAuuunnnttt Beeecccccaaaaa, I'm touching you!

Beth (who used to get furious with me, her little sister, when I did this): Abigail, why are you being ugly?

Abigail: I just like to be ug-a-ly!

Accountability

I am currently doing a Bible study by Chuck Lawless titled "Putting on the Full Armor of God". I have been a believer for 23 years and I haven't done a whole lot of studying on the armor. I've always known it was there, but I never gave it much thought, other than simply praying that the Lord would help me to wear it and use it.

I would liken my experience to a soldier signing up for the Army, filling out all the paperwork and skipping Basic Training to go straight into battle. I believe that most of the Christian population could agree and sympathize with my view on this! When were you trained to be a believer? I "got saved", "got baptized", and went to church my whole childhood. I guess they thought that attendance counted as discipleship.

Please don't misunderstand me. These things are very, very important! I would be so far from where I am if I had not been actively involved in the life of my local church during my growing-up years. I gained lots of enrichment from the teachers and pastors I've studied under.

But I also know how much heart-ache I could have saved myself and Abba if someone had come along beside me and taught me the importance of accountability. I haven't sought out proper accountability in my life. This is something I am working on doing and something I am trying to teach my children as they grow up in the Lord. Right now, I am their main accountability source, but as they get older, we will seek out peers or older believers that, with the Lord's guidance, will be mentors/accountability partners.

I plan to share more about this study I'm working on, but for now, I'll just ask: Who is your accountability partner? Do you think it's important to have one? What character qualities do you think are important in an accountability partner? I'd love to see your thoughts.

Salvation in No Other Name!

It must be every Christian mother's prayer that their child come to know the grace of Christ and accept His gift of salvation. I have been so blessed in my life to be able to lead my oldest daughter to salvation in Christ. I've always said that I am jealous of that experience with my children. In fact, last spring when I saw that Grace, my second child, was getting close to understanding about accepting Christ, I went and talked to her teachers at church. I asked that if she started the process and I was anywhere in the building for them to please find me because I wanted to be there. I'll be honest and tell you that I prefer to be the one leading them, but if I couldn't do that, I wanted to at least be in the room!

Some people ask me, "Isn't the important thing that they get saved? It shouldn't matter who leads them." Well, that may be easy for some people to say. They haven't invested all the time into teaching my children that I have. From the time they were born it's been me who tells them about Jesus and their sin and the need for Him to be their Savior. My children did not learn these concepts at church, but in the back seat of my car, and at the grocery store, and on our living room floor, and around our kitchen table! My child's Sunday school teacher hasn't been the one to answer 1,001 questions about the topic. It's been me and my husband! So no, in the grand scheme of things, maybe it doesn't matter WHO leads them, as long as they gain salvation, but I covet the experience! And I don't feel convicted of being sinful over this. I want me or Shawn to be the one to lead them, because we've been the ones to teach them.

So you can only imagine how ecstatic I was when we were reviewing AWANA verses on Sunday afternoon, August 30, 2009. Grace is six years old and in the SPARKS club. Each letter of the word SPARKS has a word and verse they have to learn. The acrostic goes like this:

S IS FOR SAVIOR 1 John 4:14
P IS FOR POWER Psalm 147:5
A IS FOR ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPTURE 1 Corinthians 15:3
R IS FOR ROSE AGAIN 1 Corinthians 15:4
K IS FOR KEEP James 2:10
S IS FOR SAVED Acts 16:31

After quoting each letter, what it stands for, and verse, I would ask Grace to tell me what the verse meant. We had gone through S, P, A, & R. We were on K when I asked what the verse meant and she said, "I have no idea!" James 2:10 states, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point; He is guilty of all."

I started explaining about the law, and what it meant to "keep the whole law". We talked about the Ten Commandments and how the verse says if you break one of them, you've broken all of them. I explained that in Old Testament times that a person who did not keep the whole law had to offer a sacrifice for payment of their sins. We discussed how in today's times, we don't offer sacrifices because Jesus , who kept the whole law, offered himself as the sacrifice. All we have to do is choose to accept the gift of His sacrifice for our sin.

I asked Grace if all this was making sense to her when she hung her head and remained silent. I asked what was wrong when she said with tears, "I know I'm not going to heaven because I've lied!" At this point, we went to her bedroom to talk, and the rest is history!

Grace trusted Jesus Christ as the sacrifice for her sin. She has a home in heaven now. She understands that her sin is paid in full, and now she needs to try to live for Jesus. The highlight of any mother's life!!!! Being able to lead her children to faith in our Lord!

Two down, Two to go! I'd love to hear your comments!

Looking After the Interests of Others

I think I am learning more and more why God chose to set His ultimate creation in family units. I knew all along that the purpose of the husband-wife relationship was to demonstrate Abba's desire to have a love relationship with us as our Sacrifice. As I relate to my husband and strive to put aside selfishness in my marriage relationship, for Shawn's benefit, it makes me value the sacrifice Christ made to be my Redeemer.



As a parent, I am learning how God relates to us as His children. This past weekend I witnessed something in my children I was shocked to overhear. There was intense anger and venom in the words coming from my two oldest daughters. I immediately summarized that this, of course, was because I had failed as a parent to teach them properly how to love and relate to one another with words of love, right? Well, I must admit I was a little deflated that they could speak to one another like this and I did feel a little like a bad mom. After all, aren't our children's reactions a direct result of our teachings/examples?



Upon hearing the interaction I was almost speechless. Please note I was almost speechless. Truthfully, I had to hold my tongue because I wanted to say so much! I promptly told them to hug, kiss, apologize, and tell the other "I love you." (This is parenting according to Euna, my mother. I cannot tell you how many times my sisters had to do this!) Then I told them to go to their respective "corners", think about their actions, and that they would be grounded. I hadn't figured out from what yet, but grounded they would be.



As I prayed about how to handle this situation, I pondered quietly while trying to listen to the Holy Spirit's prompting. I figured this would be a good time to contemplate how the Lord relates to us a Father, Abba, Daddy... He loves us so much. I wonder how much I disappoint Him with my spiteful speech about other children that belong to Him? How many times has He had to look into this heart of mine and be heart-broken over the depth of anger and sin He sees in me? Knowing I've let Him down in the same way my own children had revealed their hearts to me, I prayed harder for how to handle the situation in a way that would honor Him and teach them to try to change these behaviors.



I am NOT going to try to tell you that God revealed anything new to me in parenting and that all parents everywhere should try this and it will be guaranteed to work! I am going to tell you that after seeking guidance, I knew peace. I knew that He still loves me even though I mess up. I knew that no matter how my children might disappoint me, I still love them.

The next morning, the three of us sat down to talk about it. I read Philippians 2:3-4 to them. It says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." We discussed the meaning of these verses, and how no matter what the "reasons" for their anger toward one another, the truth was: it all boiled down to selfishness. When we don't get what we want, we get angry. When the other person doesn't do or say what we want, we get angry. It all boils down to selfishness, looking out for our own interests, not the interests of others.

I went on to ground them from several things for one week. Nothing too severe, but I'm seeing a change in attitudes! Praise you, Jesus, for working in my children's lives. Your Spirit is affective even in the smallest of people. Thank you for being the God of family, the God of children and the God of marriage.

Stickin' With Ya

Every so often, I try to sit with my oldest daughter and ask how things are going with her spiritually. For instance, before she left for church camp, I encouraged her to be sensitive to God's leadership and convictions. Last night, I was able to visit with her a little bit.

My goal with this posting is not to tell you our conversation because I wouldn't want to break her confidence. But the concepts of it, I believe, will be beneficial for parents with young Christian children. (Not that I've got a corner on that market or anything!)

Statistics show that children form their worldviews by the time they reach 13 years of age. If the habits and attitudes that are prevalent by that age are good, they will likely have the same ones into adulthood. But the same goes for bad attitudes and habits! If I do not cultivate selfLESSness, my children will bend toward selfISHness. But if, as the mother of a Christian youngster, I impress upon that child that decisions he/she makes when at the age of nine will affect the person he/she is at age eleven. And decisions at age eleven are likely to stick around through teenage years, etc. on into adulthood. Thus, who that person decides to be at age 13 will not likely differ too much from what the person is at age 23. It sticks with ya!

You may say, "I didn't really decide who I was going to be at age 13. I just am who I am." I will say to you, "We all choose how to respond to situations, whether we respond well or not. My eleven-year-old can choose her words and reactions just like I do. She just may not have been taught how to choose the better responses yet."

What about your family? Do you encourage your young ones to choose responses and attitudes based on God's Word, or do you just encourage them to be who they are and express themselves with no guidance or restraint? I'm not talking about discipline or punishment; putting them in time-out for a bad attitude or smart mouth. I'm talking about teaching them to put on the whole armor of God so they can stand against the worldviews that are trying to destroy believers today. That way maybe the child can learn to curb his/her tongue before the words spew and pursue godliness in speech/attitude/actions/etc.

Eye of My Hurricane

Ahhhhh. Cara's home. I feel better now, don't you? We successfully got our nieces where they belong, and got our oldest home. Now it is back to life as normal. At least for a week. Shawn leaves on Sunday for Austin, Texas.

On my quest to get healthy I have begun week five and phase 2. I have lost 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches!!! Wooooohooooo! Praise You, Jesus! I couldn't have done this without Your strength. In phase 2 I step up my exercise routine by adding 20 minutes of strength training twice a week. I also get to choose one area of eating to change my habits and no liquid calories for 30 days. I chose meal portions. Only putting enough on my plate, and not eating all the left-overs on the kids plates while I clean up dishes. Upon self-examination, I discovered that I don't like to throw food away. So I end up eating the food left on the children's plates instead of throwing it out, and that ends up making me overweight! I have to admit I'm proud of my 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches.


Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the eye of a hurricane? Life is zooming past you and you are in the center standing still. It's calm where you are, but you feel like you need to be in the activity. You feel like you need to do something, but there doesn't seem to be anything to do.


I feel like I've almost been at a place of inactivity with the Lord. Not that He's been inactive! He is always at work. But I'm used to being "at work" with Him. I've had a long spell here where I feel like He's telling me to draw near and be still. Draw near and be still. In case you haven't caught on to my tendencies through all these posts, I don't do "be still" very well. I want to be needed and I want to be "doing" something for my Abba. Not that He needs my help, just that I want to give it.


I'm standing in the center of my hurricane and my children are growing up before my eyes, my husband is struggling through the ministry God has given him, my sister and her husband seem to be booming in their ministry, etc. And here, I stand. Not doing anything. Not working in ministry. Not actively helping my husband. Just standing. Am I the only one?


I want to draw near and listen. I want to be still and know that He is God. I want to be satisfied to be in His presence. I want to be all the things I'm so good at teaching my children about, but struggle to live out daily!

Abba, hear my plea! I want to be right where You want me! I want to do exactly as You would have me to do! I want to know that I am pleasing You. Oh that my soul would be satisfied with Your presence as with the richest of foods. That Your Word would be my daily bread and the light to my path! I want to draw nearer to You, to hear Your words of encouragement and be satisfied to sit at Your feet in worship. Renew my mind. Be my strength. Let me be pleasing to You.

Random Thoughts

I don't really have much to tell you today. Just thought I'd drop some random thoughts out there for blog-world.

• Cara is gone to church camp with my sister's church. I miss her so much; her infectious smile and laughter. I know she is enjoying herself, though and that makes it easier. If she was pining away for me like I am for her, I'd have gone to pick her up already!
• I am keeping my nieces Trista and Carli again this week. All five of the children at my house range in age from 20 months to 6 years old. As you can imagine, there's lots of activity! Thank you, Lord, for sidewalk chalk and water sprinklers and trampolines!
• Shawn is going to be leaving in about 1-1/2 weeks for Health, Safety, & Environment Training in Austin, TX for his job with LSI. He'll leave Sunday evening the 26th and be home hopefully Friday the 31st, but I will miss him terribly while he's gone!
• I'm on my 4th week of exercising! I am just proud to tell you that I'm still doing it. I've never stuck with an exercise program this long. I've not had any major breakthroughs on my weight issues, but I'm not doing this to lose weight (which I have a little). I'm trying to change to a healthy lifestyle. This is going to take time and stages. Stage one was to get into the habit of exercising. That's what I'm working on now. I'll update you next week as to what my next step is.
• I've found that you can memorize Scripture while you walk. I needed something to keep my mind off of the clock while I'm exercising. I thought about carrying an MP3 player, but then I would miss out on hearing the birds and the stream and the cows out by where I walk. So I decided to take my Scripture memory index cards with me! It has worked out great! Keeps my mind focused on the Lord, while doing something productive for my body.

God is showing His faithfulness. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) He never fails to strengthen me when I need it. He knows I have need of His strength before I do. Thank you, Father for your grace and your strength. Abba, I couldn't have come this far without you. And I adore you, praise you, and desire to serve you. Please hear my heart's cry!

I Fear I Blew My Top

My feelings have been hurt today. Someone took it upon themselves to inform me that I am doing my children an injustice by homeschooling them. She felt she was able to make this declaration because her mother observed that one of my children seemed not to act like the rest of the girls her age at a VBS.

I've never really shared my convictions about homeschooling and such on my blog because I feared offending someone who chooses not to home school. May I just vent for a minute here?

I have never told anyone that they were doing their children an injustice because they send them off to school for 7 hours a day to be indoctrinated by worldviews that are so far from Scripture they in no means can be called godly. I have never said this because I believe that every family should do that which God tells them to do. He has told my family to home school.

My goals are for my children to grow to be godly adults, not normal people. One of my children has a tendency to stand off from the crowd and observe people before she jumps in the fun (just like her father does). One of my children jumps into social settings and makes a splash to be the center of the fun. One of my children chooses to set her own standard for fun and if others want to join in, that's great. My youngest is a ham and he hasn't quite figured out where he fits into social schemes. Every child is different. My oldest child went to public school for kindergarten and 1st grade. She acted the same way in those social settings as she does today. That is just who she is. None of my other children have attended public school, but I believe their personalities would follow them if they did.

My point is this: just because something pops into your head does not mean the Lord intends for you to speak it. It may just hurt someone. I try very much so to not be offended by any thing or any one. I guess today my dander got ruffled because someone chose to attack the very core of what I believe I am teaching my children to be.

I don't want normal children. Normal children are self-centered. Normal children act like their friends because they haven't been taught how to be themselves. Normal children lose their virginity before they are married. Normal children generally have no regards for God and His will for their lives. I DO NOT WANT NORMAL CHILDREN! (Please understand, I am not saying that all children who attend public school are ungodly. I am saying I am simply trying to be obedient to God's call in my life to home school my children.)

Yes, my children act selfishly, yes, my children make mistakes and are human. But my children are also the most precious gift God has given me and it's my job to bring them up in His Word. I want my children to find God every day and seek His guidance. I want them to have active lives of Scripture study and prayer. I want them to know that Scripture holds the answers to life, not a schoolbook. I pray they learn how to rely on the Lord for their daily bread. I want them to put Him above everything else in life.

If I have offended anyone, that was not my purpose. I pray you see my heart for my kids and understand that just as you must do for your family what you believe is best, so must I. Only for the glory of the Lord. I'm not sure I glorified Him today when I almost blew my top. Forgive me, Abba. May I honor You in all I do concerning the education of my children. May Your satisfaction be enough for my heart; I don't want to rely on the approval of others!

"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God." Acts 4:19

Sweat Drops of Blood

In the garden of Gethsemane, Scripture reports that Jesus had sweat-drops of blood. We know his horrific death, but a preacher recently revealed that Jesus wasn’t scared of death. He had known that crucifixion would be his destiny since the beginning of time. If this is so, why so much anguish? Because He knew in that moment He would have to become sin.


Remember what He left. Remember the glory He shared with the Father in heaven before coming to earth. God cannot be in the presence of sin. If Jesus was to become sin for us, it meant the first ever separation between the Father and Son and Spirit of God in the history of eternity, not just the history of time. Remember that the Triune God exists eternally. He was before time. He IS in this time and will be for eternity future.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had sweat-drops of blood because for the first time ever, he would be completely human. He would know what it is like to be separated from God. We know this separation because we are born into it, but Jesus was God-Man. He was not born into sin. He lived a perfect life and had never, even in his humanity, been completely separated from the presence of his Father and The Holy Spirit.


As Jesus hung on the cross, he became sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) that we might become righteous. We cannot be righteous apart from Him. In that moment, as he hung on the cross and cried out “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?” he became sin. My sin, your sin, he became sin. It wasn’t for his own sin that he hung there, but for ours. He had never known that kind of separation.

So apart from the cruel way he had to die, he chose to pay the ultimate price. That price was separation from his Father so that we might have a bridge to cross in order to get to Him (the Father). Jesus is our way, our only way to God.Am I grieved over my sin? Obviously I am not as grieved as Jesus was. I don’t walk around with sweat-drops of blood coming from my face. I’m not even sure I cry over my sin like I should. My sin not only separates me from God, but it was the very thing that caused Christ’s death. Shouldn't that shake me up enough not to continue in sin?

I am now undertaking the memorization of Romans 6 so that I can learn how to combat the sin problems in my life. I don’t want to grieve the Lord any more. I want to grieve myself and change it. No, I’m not saying I can be perfect, but I am saying I can be better than I am. How about you?

Lay Off

Monday of this week, my husband received a nasty little letter from human resources at the company he works for. It said, "You are laid off effective July 2, 2009." He called me and I was very proud of myself for not just bursting out wailing in tears on the phone. I was calm, cool, collected and in shock.

His job is good for him. He likes what he does, learning new things and being trained to take on bigger things. God has used him to minister to his co-workers and he enjoys the people he works with. To make things worse, we found out that his lay-off was a mistake, but they couldn't correct it now because the paperwork had never been finished when he was transferred to his new project. Why would God allow something like this to happen?

Because..."you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:3-4) I will confess to you that Shawn and I have not been the best money managers since we married nearly 12 years ago. We have failed to honor God with our finances so many times. Just when I think we've got it under control, something else happens and we choose to not trust God to supply our needs. I know that it takes time, but I was so scared of what would happen to us if he lost his job.

When someone asked me what we were going to do, the only thing I knew to say was, "Well, we're going to keep trusting the Lord to provide for our needs. That will probably take a re-evaluation of what is a need vs. a want, but God will be faithful."

God was already at work though! Shawn's supervisors and fellow employees went to bat for him and found him another position in the company. Boy, does He provide! Was He on time or what? Today, I am singing the praises of my Savior! He is the Savior of my soul, and my life, but also the Savior of my finances and well-being.

Abba, I stand in awe of Your love for me today. I stand in awe of who You are! I am so blessed to be a recipient of Your grace and mercy. I will praise Your name because You are Great! I will sing of Your never-ending love for me! You are God alone, and I praise you.

How has God shown His faithfulness to you lately? I'd love to hear about it!

By the way, I'm on day two of my goal to work-out for 30 minutes a day, five days a week, four weeks in a row. Can I just say I AM SO SORE!!! I didn't even attempt to jog today. I thought sure they'd have to scrape me off the asphalt if I did. Simple sitting and getting up has become an issue today. It's going to be bad again tomorrow, but day four should be easier! Please pray for me!

Victory in Jesus!

Okay, I did it. I got up this morning, read my Scriptures, prayed, then I did it. I started the first day for the rest of my life. I walked/jogged for a full thirty minutes. There were times during the jogging part that I literally thought I was going to pass out! I am not just really over-weight (more than I want to be), but MY OH MY, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!

I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!

I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!

Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!" I pray today finds you basking in the Lord's pleasure and in His presence! Reading through the Psalms this morning brought to my mind how gracious Abba is! I am overflowing with songs of praise this morning! Like..."I am His and He is mine! His banner over me is love!"

When was the last time you were overflowing in His grace? I'm so thankful for His love!

I took my children to see the movie "UP" last night. It was fun for our family, very family friendly. I would encourage anyone with children to see it. There were a couple of parts where Grace was a little scared of "the bad guy", but there wasn't anything necessarily gruesome about it. The story concludes with the concept of continuing to live life even after you think yours is over. It wound up with a very sweet ending.

Also, we had a very good supper at Papa Poblanos. We always love the food there! The girls enjoyed the evening, Hazin enjoyed the evening, but I LOVED it! Just me and my kids for a whole evening!

It was so nice for me to be able to feel like I can still have fun with my children and that our life is not all about laundry and chores. You ever have one of those weeks where you feel like all you do is get on to your children? Well, I had one of those weeks! I was thankful for the evening! I am now looking forward to a day full of friends, birthday parties and shopping! What more could a girl ask for?

Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you remember the Lord's mercy and worship Him this Sabbath! May He keep you and bless you. Thanks for stopping in.

Discipline

I recently shared to blog-world that I have been pounded by the Lord about my poor eating habits. I am here to tell you that this will be no easy feat! I know that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know that to treat it unimportant is to misuse Abba's gift to me. I will not sit here and preach to you what you already know. I will simply state what the Lord has told me. "Whatever reason you claim to avoid eating and living a healthy life are just that... reasons... excuses. Whenever you are ready to trust me completely, let me know."

I began reading Never Say Diet, a book by Chantel Hobbs, yesterday. I can't even tell you that I didn't know it was coming. I don't believe she said anything I haven't already heard before. But I did hear something from my heart I'd never heard before. I want my life to be pleasing to Abba. What I am doing now is not working. I am unhealthy and passing down a lack-of-discipline legacy to my children.

I ask for you to pray for me as I go for this goal. I plan to let you know what I'm doing from time to time. I don't believe the Lord wants me to make this a "weight-loss" blog. What I am doing I am doing to be healthy, not lose weight. If the weight comes off in the process, glory to God! But I'm concerned about the kind of disciple I'm being.

My problems not only lie in health related issues. I'm undisciplined in housekeeping, exercise, schooling my children, money areas.... The list just keeps going. I want to be a disciple. How do I accomplish this? By becoming disciplined! I don't want to live by a strict schedule. I want to live holy and pleasing to the Lord! I want to stand before His throne and hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Not "Well, you did a good job some of the time."

I will tell you that I will fall flat on my face. I will also tell you that I will pick myself up, forgive myself, trust God to give me strength and try again. No unrealistic goals here, just getting healthier one day at a time.

My children have had a virus this week, for all of you who prayed for them, thank you! God is so good and faithful. He is the Master Physician. I know that they are all happy to be feeling better.
Aunt June and Uncle Ralph will be in the area this afternoon, so when I get off work, to Broken Bow, OK we go! It should be a fun evening of games and food.

Leave me a comment and tell me where you need more discipline. Maybe we can help strengthen one another in prayer. God bless all who call upon His name!

Pounding

I just have to say that I love blogging! I read and follow so many good, wonderful, godly people in blog world! :) I never new all this fun existed. I also never knew how powerfully God could use computers to pound His message into my brain!

The message? "Quit excusing your bad eating habits and surrender ALL to me!"

The response? "Yes, Lord, I hear you. Please, forgive my blatant ignoring of your call in my life. I surrender. I'm going to need you moment by moment on this journey. Thank you that your mercies are new each morning. I love you, my Savior, my God."

Is He asking you to surrender anything? I could use all the help I can get knowing I'm not in it alone! Let me hear from you!

What to do?

Hello, blog world. I hope today's post finds you doing well and wishing others well. When I find myself between Bible study materials I revert to reading through the Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the chapter that corresponds with the day's date then each 30th psalm after it, you read through them all in one month. Like today is June 10th, so I read Psalm 10, 40, 70, 100, 130 and Proverbs 10. Some very deep things in there.

Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV) If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.

Ponder for a second what life would be like in Christ if He kept a record of sins. Y'all, I can't fathom that kind of hopelessness. I know how black my sin smears on the purity of Christ. If He kept a record, I would have no reason to keep trying. Those of us who deal with depression could be stuck there forever with verse three. But then comes verse four! "But with you there is forgiveness..." Hallelujah! Does anyone besides me want to jump up and shout out praise to the One True God! Where would I be without His forgiveness? On a train bound for Hell with a one-way-no-returns ticket. All of us would be.

Abba, You are gracious and wonderful! My lips sing Your praise and my feet want to leap with joy dancing before Your throne. Thank you for Your forgiveness. I know I am not worthy of Your grace. I know I can stand in Your presence only because I am covered with Jesus redemptive blood shed on Calvary's cross. I praise you today. Because of your unfailing love I can stand!

In other news, I popped something in my neck last night and it hurts really badly. I can't turn my head to the left. Any sympathy you have would be much appreciated! Thank you for stopping in and reading my pitiful little posts. I only pray it glorifies my Abba.

Whew!

Well, things are getting back to normal around the Hicks household! Trista and Carli are with Grandma Carol and it's just me, Shawn, and our four left at home. We had a fun time, but I'm gonna be glad to get some rest this week-end! I also learned that God is Good! He is so good that He chose not to give me two sets of twins! Having 2 around the age of 6 and 2 around the age of 20 months was a new experience for me. Maybe if I did have twins, I wouldn't say that, but I don't and I said it.

Whew!

We played tickle torture, water sprinkler, sidewalk chalk, coloring books, picture drawing, duct tape purse making, dress-up, jump on the trampoline, swing, make a swimming pool out of the sandbox... the list goes on! And oh the concerts I got to hear! I wish I had a good video camera to record them on. It was a hoot!

I got to hear Trista ask the blessing for the first time at Papa's house. It was voluntary, but she was so nervous. You would have thought she was being asked to perform in order to win a prize or something. When she finished the smile on her face was questioning, "Did I do a good enough job?" Oh, Trista! God doesn't judge your words to see if they were good enough for Him to offer His blessings! He looks upon your heart and hears what's truly going on in there, and He smiles with gladness because you were brave enough to talk out loud to Him! I did my best to re-affirm her, but a parental/role model figure is always left questioning ourselves, "Did I go a good enough job?" I told her I was very proud and that she did very well.

Carli is a parrot. Don't say anything you don't want repeated around her. She just says whatever she hears. And she speaks so clearly. I wish Hazin would, but I'm sure soon I'll be wishing he'd just stop talking for a little while. Maybe that's just a difference between boys and girls. I remember all of my girls talking early and ALOT! It seemed like all they did was talk (and still is). In fact, Grace has a shirt that says, "Talking is my best subject." If any of you know Grace, you know it's true. Maybe boys just don't start off talking as much. He's my first one, so I don't have anything but girls to compare it to. He sure knows how to make truck and horse noises though! He drives and rides with the best of them. "Brrrrrrrrrrr" and "Yaaah" and "Whoa!"

It was sweet to watch the kids love one another and help each other out. It made me feel good to know Beth and I are doing fairly well at teaching them to love each other. Beth's kids are good at quoting Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another...." anytime she asks, "What does the Bible say about being mean to each other?" It was fun to hear them say it and watch their attitudes change accordingly. Thank you, Lord for giving us your Word to learn from and teach to our children!

Now, what's been going on with you? Are you wondering if you did good enough for the Lord? I can assure you we all have those questions and that none of us do good enough to earn the grace of salvation He offers. But ever are we thankful that He offers it to us!

I hear that God is doing good things in Omaha, Nebraska where FBC Foreman is on mission. I miss Beth so much, but am glad to know that God went before them to prepare hearts and is there now doing a work through them! Lord, bring them home safely.

Hope you all have a good week. Maybe later I'll be able to post something intelligible. Right now, my brain is still mush.

Lots of Children!

I've been trying to prepare my house and mind for lots of children. For those of you who don't know me personally, I have four children: (three girls) the oldest is 11, one turning 6 Monday, a precious 3 year old, and my baby boy is 20 months. Some may think that is lots of children, but I believe it's just what I need, if not more.

This evening I will be inheriting two more for almost a week. My nieces will be staying with me while my sister Beth and her family go on a mission trip. The oldest, Trista, is five and the younger one, Carli, is 19 months. My oldest sister, Lisa, and I were pregnant together twice. So Grace (my almost 6 year old) is to-the-day three months older than Trista. They are the best of friends and cousins who love to play together! Most of the time they get along fabulously, but they have their moments like all children. The second time Lisa and I were pregnant together, I had Hazin 7 weeks before she had Carli. They aren't old enough to know it yet, but they are the best of friends too. When they see one another, they just hug like they won't ever let go. It is the sweetest thing. Anyway, Lisa's children stay with Beth, and she (Beth) is taking the three oldest children in her home with her, and leaving the younger two with me for part of the time.

I try to be creative when I have this many to take care of. When you allow children to play without direction for too long, they argue and fuss more. So far I have playing in the water sprinkler and a trip to the park if it isn't raining. That should take up about 1/2 a day. Ummmm I'll take any suggestions you can offer. Just remember that everything has to be planned around the babies' naps! Cannot forget about nap time! Please leave me a comment with any suggestions!

When I woke up this morning I had a really hard time pulling myself together. I wondered why me? I just did not want to get up. Then I remembered that I am supposed to be jumping up and being excited to spend time with my Lord today (and every day). My heart said, "My soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You as in a dry and weary land." Then my mind said, "That's not true Tracey. You're not longing today. You are be slothful and wanting to stay in bed." The Truth is that we all long for God, but sometimes we choose other things. Abiding is a hard thing. To be able to stay in one place, focused on one thing, is a prayer of mine and a struggle. There are so many distractions pulling us in many different ways. Along with your suggestions on kids' activities, feel free to share any tips on abiding...staying connected...being content without being complacent...loving and living like you mean it.

I know that I can't spend all day everyday with a Bible on my lap and never move from "praying position". That's not what I'm talking about. Even when I work, I work to the Lord. Even when I discipline my children, I do so as unto the Lord. Even when I cook supper, cook to the Lord. That's the kind of living I want to do...whatever my hand finds to do, do it as unto the Lord that He might be glorified in me. All I know to say is "Yes, Lord, yes."

Jesus, apart from you, I can do NOTHING. Help me to abide in the True Vine. I love you today.

Growing Up

Why do our children have to grow up? I know that it is God's plan or He wouldn't have made them that way. Sometimes it's just hard to watch! Then again other times and situations you just might welcome it! I have a daughter who threatened me if I blogged about her newest accomplishment in growing up. So I won't mention any names.

What is it that makes kids stink? I never really noticed it until recently, but sometimes kids just smell bad! Beth always warned me that I would say that if I ever had a boy, but Hazin isn't quite old enough yet. He still has baby smells. He doesn't smell like a dirty little boy yet. But I'm finding that girls stink too! I mean down right body funk!

On our way home from Tulsa, one of our girls whose name I cannot use, lifted her arms and we about killed over! We wanted to roll down the windows to escape the smell. We decided on that 5 hour trip that it may be time to start allowing this child to shave her unnamed under-pits. (Grace coined that word at our house. It's a combination of under-arms and arm-pits: under-pits.)

Oh, the dread over my babies growing up. Yes, the growing pains are there, but I believe in this case, they will be worth it. As everyone knows, the less hair you have under your arms, the less stench they give off. Yes, we have taught the necessity of deodorant and antiperspirant, but for some reason only God himself can explain, it just wasn't working. Now maybe we will have relief!

This whole story reminds me of when I was a child. Our family was traveling together and my oldest sister, Lisa, took her shoes off and they smelled so badly Daddy wanted to put them in the back end of the pickup. I don't remember if he actually pulled over and did so, but I remember the drama surrounding the smell.

Which brings me to a point. Am I ignoring areas in my life that are causing a stench in my Abba's nose? What areas do I need to have washed and cleansed with the blood from Calvary? I know we all have areas. You know I'm not talking about your armpits! How about in that closet of personal space you refuse to let the Lord deal with? What are you ignoring that God has asked you to clean up? I've got mine...more than one. Right now, I'm working on anxiety and fear among other things. No, it's not easy, but I want my life to be a fragrant offering to the Lord. (The good kind of fragrance!) I pray when He leans close to tell me He loves me that He doesn't hold his breath because of something I refuse to hand over to Him that is rotting in my soul causing a stench to His nose!

Abba, I know this is a place that I need to work on more. I know You can see my heart and the desire there to be pure before You with no unrighteous thing between us. If I am overlooking areas where I need to clean up or allow You to clean up for me, please bring them to my attention. Like a hightliter marks a page, mark my life and show me how to be holy before You.

Greetings from Tulsa

Good morning. We will be heading back home in a little bit and I wanted to let everyone know we are doing fine. The funeral service yesterday was beautiful. It is a blessing when you can be assured you will see a loved one again in heaven. I cannot fathom the depth of loss felt when a believer in Christ loses a loved one that doesn't believe. That kind of loss is too much. That kind of loss is too great and painful. I've never experienced it, and I surely don't want to. I hope you don't ever have to experience it either.

Does that spur you on to share your faith? Does it make you wonder if those you love are secure in salvation through faith in Jesus Christ? It does me! I pray that I will be a better witness of God's love and blessings through salvation in my life.

On a lighter note, let me tell you what Cara did. Grandpa and Grandma have a swing hanging from a pear tree in the back yard. It is just a small one, mind you, and Cara's bottom is almost too big for the seat anyway. But she was swinging on it with her eyes closed talking to me and she kept getting higher and higher. The next think I know she hollers "ow!" I asked what was wrong and she said she hit her head on a pear. It was funny to us, and maybe you had to be there to think it was funny. Cara asked me today if I had written anything about her on my blog yet. I jokingly told her that she hadn't done anything cute lately. Of course, she gasped like she was shocked. Then she said, "I'm your child. Isn't that enough?"

The answer is, "yes! That is more than enough!" I love you Cara and of all the Cara Leiann's in the whole wide world, you are my favorite! Thank you for all your help and your boldness in Christ. I pray that you will always live for the Lord and honor Him with your life. I love you.

Esther

I'm fixing to jet out the door to head for north Arkansas and northeast Oklahoma. Hope you all have a great weekend. Just wanted to drop you a quick line.

I finished my Bible study on Beth Moore's "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman". I encourage anyone interested in Scripture to study this! Especially if you are a woman who loves the Lord! I enjoyed it so much. I learned things about myself that I didn't know, I learned things about God I didn't know, and I learned things about Esther I didn't know. And I thought I was pretty smart.

The main thing I learned is that God can turn any situation around. And the way to taking a different direction is trusting enough to take the first step.

I just needed to know that. God can turn it around even when I cannot. All I have to do is trust him. And oh, He is so worthy of my trust! The Only One who has never let me down!

Love ya! Thanks for stopping by!

Random Life

Hope you had a great Memorial Day. I hope you found a moment to remember in prayer the families of those great men and women who have sacrificed their lives for freedom's sake. Or if you know a family personally, say, "Thank you."

Our Memorial Day weekend was a hoot! Friday night, Shawn was in the rodeo in Idabel, OK. Saturday, we had a lazy day of family time. It was great just being together with the six of us. Sunday morning we awoke to Abi's first words being, "Daddy, I just need to puke." Boy, if that won't start your day, nothing will! Shawn moves quickly when vomit is involved. Me, on the other hand, I am relatively calm in emergency situations. So Abigail was sick all day Sunday. Shawn left Sunday afternoon for the Warner bulldogging jackpot and Ft. Smith rodeo.

On Monday, the kids and I headed to Magnolia to spend time with Paula, Kaylie, and Jonathan Sweet. It was unknown to me that her air conditioner is out!!!! No air at work, no air at Paula's... Maybe God is trying to get through to me about these hot and uncomfortable situations. We had a fun, full day of visiting, moving furniture around and trying to locate an affordable window air conditioning unit! We drove home Monday evening and I put the kiddos straight to bed. Fifteen minutes later, Abigail was coughing her head off, gagging and crying...kept me up all night! She was better Tuesday morning. God is so good! None of the other children got sick or have felt bad. In a family of six, that's no easy task! Thank you, Abba.

I received the joy of leading a young man in his twenties to salvation. Jesus is so good to us. He creates us, loves us, died for us, and saves us. This man knew where he was spiritually. He knew the destiny of his soul. He stated very plainly that he knew he had said words in the past, but he didn't mean them. He knew if he died at that moment, he would spend eternity in hell.

I was so eager to share with him the plan of salvation, I kind of didn't even give Shawn much of a chance to talk. Looking back, I think maybe I should have, but when God puts a burning in your soul you HAVE to share! It reminded me of Jeremiah when he said he tried to not share the prophecy God had given him. Jeremiah 20:9 says, "But if I say, 'I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." You understand, I just HAD to.

We spoke of sin and the need of a Savior. We spoke of the way to that Savior and that there was no other way to get there. We spoke of salvation not being a deed that gets done, but a relationship that needs fostering care and love and time to grow. I loved that as we were reading through the Scriptures he was actively searching the verses himself like it was the first time he'd ever heard them. (It may have been.) We read Romans 10:9-10 that states, "That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." I explained that it was that simple. Know you need a Savior, know that Jesus is the only way, say with your mouth "Jesus is Lord", and you will be saved. I couldn't even finish explaining it and he was proclaiming confidently that Jesus is Lord! I loved it. It was the high-light of my week.

Do you remember when it happened for you? Maybe you've heard it a thousand times. Maybe you read this and it's the first you've ever heard it. I remember like it was yesterday! But I'm so glad it didn't end there. It is still going on today. Jesus is still saving me and making me holy. (I know, I know, it's hopeless, but one day He's gonna glorify me and you'll be thinking, "Wow! Look what Jesus did with her!") Feel free to leave me a comment and tell me what God's done for you. Or if you don't think He's ever done that and you'd like to know more, contact me by email at: too_i@hotmail.com

I pray you have a blessed day! Jesus, thank you for using me as your vessel. I love what you've done for me! I love the fact you did it for everyone. No one's past is beyond your grace, praise You, Abba!

Are you hot yet?

Good day to all my fellow blogger! I pray today finds you in good spirits and good company as well! Down here in the south, it is warming up into summer quite quickly. Maybe it just seems so because the air conditioner where I sit at work is out. Needless to say, in a room with no windows to open we are HOT!

Somewhere above the noise of the fans blowing and oscillating I'm sure that business as usual is going on. My question today is: Are you hot yet?

Are you in a place where you are being tested? Maybe God has turned up the heat on a certain situation, or has pointed out an area of blatant sin that needs dealing with. I cannot say what your situation may be. For me, sitting where I am uncomfortable isn't luxury.

Whether it is an area of sin and I know I need to repent, but just as blatantly as I am committing the sin, I am rebelling about giving it up or if it a situation that is what it is, and sin is not the issue, I can rest assured that business is going on! God is up to something all the time.

Maybe today, you need to stop and take inventory about your discomfort. Is there something you need to confess to the Lord and wipe the slate clean? His mercies are new every morning, hallelujah! He stands ready to accept any apology from a repenting heart. Thank you, Lord that you love us as much as you do! You truly are a great solace for us! Beyond His mercy where we do not get the punishment we deserve, he offers His grace. He offers freely what we do not deserve!

Or are you in a situation you have no control over and you just feel helpless to do anything about it? Let me assure you that God is not about to leave you stranded. Just because you cannot see into the heavenly realms to know what is going does NOT mean nothing is going on! He works everything to the good of those who "love him and are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) Even when we can't see or feel it, He is working for our good! Even when we choose destructiveness over godliness, He is working for our good.

In a world where everyone looks out for themselves, isn't nice to know that God is looking out for you? He wants the very best for you and me! The very best is Him and His goodness. Lord, I ask that you show me today where my "hot spots" are. Please show me whether or not I need to do something about them or trust in your timing and grace to work them together for my good. Thank you for your everlasting love. Thank you that you do not change and I can rely on you today and tomorrow just as much or more than yesterday! Thank you for the invitation to come into your throne room and, with prayer and thanksgiving, to present my requests to you. May you be glorified in my life today, Abba!

Praise to the One True God!
Tracey

Girlfriend, let me tell you!

Girlfriend, let me tell you! Yesterday when I got home from work, Shawn had stopped by the store. For my birthday, he grilled ribeye steaks (my fave!), fried squash, mac-n-cheese. On top of all that was a mushy birthday card with a Dr. Pepper and a huge Hershey's bar. Does my man know what I like or what? Jesus, thank you for sending him to me and not someone else!

I could have whined because I didn't get the jewelry I like, or the big Fry-Daddy thingy I want, but just to know that my husband knows me like that was worth it! No other present could have spoken to me the way those things did. It told me that he pays attention to me. He knows me well enough to know my likes and dislikes.

If that wasn't enough, he even told the kids to stay out of my Dr. Pepper and chocolate! Wow, a treat just for Mom. That doesn't happen very often! Have you had something special lately? Just for you? Just for the record, I plan on sharing my Hershey bar with my children today at lunch. All four of those chololate-loving kids will get some of it. We all know my hips need no more help! (Shhh...don't tell Shawn I shared!)

All I know to say is, "Thank you!" Everyone wished me a Happy Birthday and I loved it. I had a great day. I am so thankful to my Lord for giving me the gift of "life to the fullest" (John 10:10). He is the giver of all good things. Good things like: eternal life, salvation, a good man, children, peace, monetary blessings, groceries, friends, sisters... I could go on, but I think you understand where I'm coming from. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness.

How about you? Use the comment button below and tell me what you are thankful for!

Happy Birthday

I turn 32 today. The question weighing on my mind is "Is my life pleasing to the Lord?" It doesn't matter to me today if I've made my husband, children, parents, etc. proud. Don't get me wrong, their thoughts do matter, but my concern is my Abba. Have I made Him proud? Have I taken the steps necessary to please my Lord?

I struggle with wrong eating habits. I want to do better, but the good I want to do, I do not do. Does anyone hear Paul?!? I want to do better to honor my Jesus with my body. Please pray along those lines for me. I want to be prepared to do battle for Him on any war field. Including, but not limited to, eating, prayer, my mouthy words, children, marriage...

Is my life pleasing to my Abba? I know you can't answer that question for me, but I want to be open to hear from the Lord His thoughts and desires for me.

What about you? Tell me what you think. Is there something you wish you could change? How can I pray for you? On your next birthday, what will you be reflecting on? Let me know something! Thanks for stopping by.

Do You Believeth?

We started having a time of Scripture reading/discussion at night before bed-time. Last night during our "flamily time" (Abi's word for it) Grace asked a question. Y'all, that baby is close to making a decision to trust Christ as her Savior. She is very sensitive about Christ dying and sin right now. She asks hard questions and expects real answers! She doesn't want you to tell her, "You'll understand when you get older." She is seeking the answers to the questions that all of our souls long for, but not all of us are brave enough to ask.

The question was, "How come people believeth in God when they don't even love him?" She learned John 3:16 (King James Version) "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Ever since then, she says believeth.

How come people believeth in God when they don't even love him? Do you hear that? How do you tell a five-almost-six year old the truth in terms she can understand? How do you tell her that you can know the truth and choose not to love? How do you tell her that just because something is right doesn't mean it comes without cost? Shawn patiently tried to answer her in words she could understand. She sat there with this confused look on her face. I was really beginning to be concerned that she would have the wrong perception of believing and loving. I wanted to tell her the truth without scaring her or worrying her. She's been so prone to tears about these kinds of topics lately.

I thought of how I would want someone to explain it to me. Quickly the Lord sent James 2:19 to my mind: "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that -- and shutter." I thought to myself, there is no way that the demons love God. They've made it clear that their purpose is to try to destroy God's kingdom. Here was our answer.

I decided to let God answer for himself. I told Grace what the verse said. She was surprised that the Devil would even believe in God. I explained that Satan wants to be God, but he can't be and that's why he doesn't love God.

I wonder how many of us do that..."believeth" in Him, but not "loveth" Him? I explained to Grace that just because you know about God and Jesus and you know all the stories from the Bible, it doesn't mean that you are a Christian. It doesn't make you love God just to know about Him. Without the relationship there is no purpose in all the knowledge.

How 'bout you today? Do you know about God and the stories from the Scriptures? Do you know that He loves you and died in your place so you could experience eternal life? All it takes is turning that knowledge to trust. Nothing but perfection can be in heaven. Admit you cannot be good enough to go to heaven on your own. "Believeth" that Jesus is the answer to the problem. Confess to Him that He is Lord. Trust Him to be enough for you. Enough for today. For tomorrow. For eternity.

He is, you know. He is enough. Thank you, Jesus, for being willing. I don't know why you love me enough to want a relationship with me, but I thank you that you do! I'd be lost without your love.

Timing

Just a really cute story before I tell you what is on my mind today. Grace received a Cubbie bear when she graduated from the AWANA Cubbie class. Now that she's been in Sparks for a year, she thinks she's too big for Cubbie, so Abigail (or Babba as Hazin calls her) has taken Cubbie over. My nephew, Landon, also got a Cubbie when he graduated from that class, and my sister, Beth, warned me that Cubbie is a very mischievous bear. He has wet the bed, hidden clothes in the toy box, etc.. I guess it's best he not start all that at my house. Last night, I was tucking Abi into bed and she was scared of something else in her room, so I covered it up with a blanket and asked if she wanted to sleep with Cubbie, so he could protect her. She said yes, of course, and I gave him to her and tucked him in. She quickly sat up in the bed, took Cubbie's vest off him, and said, "Momma, Cubbie needs some pj's." I thought quickly what I might have that would fit a stuffed bear that was about 12" long since I've given most of Hazin's baby clothes away. I found a little baby gown and we dressed Cubbie. She was thrilled! Cubbie had pj's and now I could tuck them in.

I was getting ready for work today, and she came into the bathroom, quickly undressed Cubbie, put his vest back on him, and asked me what his too-tay was for. (Too-tay is Abi's word for bottom.) I said, "I guess that's for him to use the bathroom with." What else does a mother say? And what else does a mother do? Well, this one went and found the baby doll diaper bag, and we promptly put a doll diaper on Cubbie so he wouldn't poop or pee on Abi or my furniture. Wouldn't you have done the same? I just thought she was too cute!

Now........

It would seem the Lord is trying to speak to me about timing. I am currently doing the "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman" Bible study written by Beth Moore. If you've read the book of Esther in the Bible, you should have picked up on the fact that God is a God of timing. Even though His name appears nowhere in the book, His timing is all over it.

Just a quick recap of the story: Esther, a Jewish orphan raised by her cousin Mordecai, is crowned Queen of Persia. The king's right-hand-man, Haman, hates the Jews (specifically Mordecai) and gets King Xerxes to sign an edict declaring "destruction, slaughter, and annihilation" (Esther 7:4) against the Jewish people living in Persia. Through the course of events, Esther saves her people and Haman is executed while Mordecai takes his position as the king's right-hand-man.

When I see God working behind the scenes in my life, and I know He is, because He always does, I know it's for my best. That doesn't mean I will like everything that happens during this time, but that means I can trust Him with the outcome!

So, like a whisper of wind behind a curtain over an open window, He is moving in my life. It took me a little while to realize it's Him. Sorry, Abba, I should have known. Timing keeps coming up. Not only in the Esther Bible study, but in other posts I've read (johnjfrady.blogspot.com), and at home, while I'm driving. It's everywhere, and I'm LATE getting on board with God and His timing. You think I would have caught on before now....

Anyway, Hebrews 11:1 tells me "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." So, Abba, today I'm gonna try to trust you with the outcome. I'm gonna take a step of faith into what I cannot see and trust that you will not allow me to fall. I'm gonna trust your timing! My timing tends to be attached to a calendar or a clock. You don't need those things, Abba, You are eternal and outside the boundaries of time as I know and understand it. I trust you, Lord. That's something worth praising you for. You are worthy to be trusted. Your timing is worthy of my trust. Thanks for not giving up on this slow girl. I love you, Abba.

What is Rhema?

Rhema is "the part of a sentence that expresses an idea" according to Dictionary.com. In biblical terms it is the part of Scripture that the Lord specifically speaks to you. Many times I read a Scripture and think "Oh, that's nice." But other times I read a Scripture and I KNOW God meant for me to read it! He wrote that verse for me to read on that day because He wanted me to hear it.

It is not the same thing as "logos" which means the word, the whole word - as in the Bible, or the word - as in Jesus "the word made flesh". It makes it so much more personal to know that God intends for Scripture to be for us. He wrote us a love letter and wants it to be read as such!

So this blog is just about me and my relationship with my Lord. I need an outlet to share what I believe He is saying to me and I decided I'd give Aunt June a break and share it with others too! I don't imagine I'll post every day, but I hope you'll check in periodically to see what Abba (that's how I think of the Lord when I'm alone in my head) is doing with me.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you peace.