Please contact me at too_i@hotmail.com or at 903-733-5743 for speaking engagements.



Thursday, March 25, 2010

Convictions

Have you ever wondered why your parents allowed certain things that you would never allow your own children to do? Or vice verse: why you would allow your children certain privileges that your parents would have never dreamed of allowing you to do. I am positive that my parents loved me as much as I love my own children. I am positive that my parents wanted to give me better than they had growing up, as I would like to do for my children. My sister and I have this conversation frequently. We have come to believe that the difference lies in convictions.

I grew up in a Christian home where we attended church all the time. I watched my parents attend prayer meetings, try to read their Bibles regularly, and try to raise us up "right". I believe for the most part they did a great job. But I know I never learned how to live a Spirit-filled life in Christ as a child. I think they tried hard, but I think there were some convictions missing in their lives,and subsequently, they were missing in my life. That is, until I chose to get my own convictions.

Convictions like:
  • giving my children a godly education.
  • courting versus dating.
  • everything in my life has spiritual implications. (All things, good or bad, affect my spiritual walk, no matter how inconsequential they may seem.)

Shawn and I have chosen to home school our children. This decision was not one that was made overnight, nor was it one that everyone in our family agreed with. This was a conviction that we had from the Lord. I will never tell you that your family needs to home school. That is between you and God, not you and me.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says, "These commands that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

How can we talk to our children about them when we were only spending about 4 hours a day with them and 3 of those hours were filled with homework and bath time? We did send our oldest daughter to school for a couple of years, but our conviction from the Lord was that she would be better off learning about Him from us. I found out quickly that my daughter was much more influenced by the school children than they were influenced by her. And I don't think anyone could argue that the public school district was going to teach my child about God's love and Jesus Christ's Deity!

The burden I have on my heart for each of my children to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior and to have a vibrant, growing, love relationship with Him! Did you hear what I said? I have a burden. I don't just want them to, or think they need to. My heart is heavy with the weight of my responsibility to introduce them to Him. When they were in my womb I started praying for the salvation of their souls, and have not stopped. I am jealous for the opportunity to be the one to lead them to Christ. I try my best to teach them every day the Good News of the Gospel so they know that they sin, that Christ died for that sin and was raised back to life to conquer that sin.

Two of mine have accepted His gift of forgiveness. For them, my burden has changed to teach them how to love Jesus more today than they did yesterday. I strive to be an example to them of what a vibrant follower of Christ is. To show them how to rely on His strength when we are weak and how to find His Truth for the problems we face are daily goals. I do not live a passive faith in front of them. We constantly talk about self control over our actions and our words and our thoughts. I strive to teach them that sin can begin and end if we control our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

I pray you can see that this decision was not haphazardly made. A public school teacher or school mates will not teach my children how to do these things. It is my burden for a reason: God gave me a conviction. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I plan to write about the other points soon.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Learning...

What am I learning from the Lord right now?

I am learning that introspection doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be helpful and releasing! I can actually look inside myself and see Him, not my version of my own self-worth.

I am learning that He loves me and forgives me completely. No sin is greater than He is able to forgive! All we have to do is ask.

I recently lost a baby and have been struggling to see myself as a creation of great worth to Him. Thinking that if I was a good mom, God would've let me have that child and the others that I've lost. God knows what He's doing though. You see, I began that pregnancy just as I started a Bible study on "Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee. That was no accident. Abba knew that I'd need to know my worth in His eyes as He beholds me covered by the blood of Christ. I've been able to dig down deep and see what my Lord sees in me.

What does He see, you ask? He sees someone made in His image, "fearfully & wonderfully made," forgiven by His grace and glorified by His redemption!

I wonder, what have you been learning from the Lord?