Sweat Drops of Blood

In the garden of Gethsemane, Scripture reports that Jesus had sweat-drops of blood. We know his horrific death, but a preacher recently revealed that Jesus wasn’t scared of death. He had known that crucifixion would be his destiny since the beginning of time. If this is so, why so much anguish? Because He knew in that moment He would have to become sin.


Remember what He left. Remember the glory He shared with the Father in heaven before coming to earth. God cannot be in the presence of sin. If Jesus was to become sin for us, it meant the first ever separation between the Father and Son and Spirit of God in the history of eternity, not just the history of time. Remember that the Triune God exists eternally. He was before time. He IS in this time and will be for eternity future.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had sweat-drops of blood because for the first time ever, he would be completely human. He would know what it is like to be separated from God. We know this separation because we are born into it, but Jesus was God-Man. He was not born into sin. He lived a perfect life and had never, even in his humanity, been completely separated from the presence of his Father and The Holy Spirit.


As Jesus hung on the cross, he became sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) that we might become righteous. We cannot be righteous apart from Him. In that moment, as he hung on the cross and cried out “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?” he became sin. My sin, your sin, he became sin. It wasn’t for his own sin that he hung there, but for ours. He had never known that kind of separation.

So apart from the cruel way he had to die, he chose to pay the ultimate price. That price was separation from his Father so that we might have a bridge to cross in order to get to Him (the Father). Jesus is our way, our only way to God.Am I grieved over my sin? Obviously I am not as grieved as Jesus was. I don’t walk around with sweat-drops of blood coming from my face. I’m not even sure I cry over my sin like I should. My sin not only separates me from God, but it was the very thing that caused Christ’s death. Shouldn't that shake me up enough not to continue in sin?

I am now undertaking the memorization of Romans 6 so that I can learn how to combat the sin problems in my life. I don’t want to grieve the Lord any more. I want to grieve myself and change it. No, I’m not saying I can be perfect, but I am saying I can be better than I am. How about you?

Lay Off

Monday of this week, my husband received a nasty little letter from human resources at the company he works for. It said, "You are laid off effective July 2, 2009." He called me and I was very proud of myself for not just bursting out wailing in tears on the phone. I was calm, cool, collected and in shock.

His job is good for him. He likes what he does, learning new things and being trained to take on bigger things. God has used him to minister to his co-workers and he enjoys the people he works with. To make things worse, we found out that his lay-off was a mistake, but they couldn't correct it now because the paperwork had never been finished when he was transferred to his new project. Why would God allow something like this to happen?

Because..."you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:3-4) I will confess to you that Shawn and I have not been the best money managers since we married nearly 12 years ago. We have failed to honor God with our finances so many times. Just when I think we've got it under control, something else happens and we choose to not trust God to supply our needs. I know that it takes time, but I was so scared of what would happen to us if he lost his job.

When someone asked me what we were going to do, the only thing I knew to say was, "Well, we're going to keep trusting the Lord to provide for our needs. That will probably take a re-evaluation of what is a need vs. a want, but God will be faithful."

God was already at work though! Shawn's supervisors and fellow employees went to bat for him and found him another position in the company. Boy, does He provide! Was He on time or what? Today, I am singing the praises of my Savior! He is the Savior of my soul, and my life, but also the Savior of my finances and well-being.

Abba, I stand in awe of Your love for me today. I stand in awe of who You are! I am so blessed to be a recipient of Your grace and mercy. I will praise Your name because You are Great! I will sing of Your never-ending love for me! You are God alone, and I praise you.

How has God shown His faithfulness to you lately? I'd love to hear about it!

By the way, I'm on day two of my goal to work-out for 30 minutes a day, five days a week, four weeks in a row. Can I just say I AM SO SORE!!! I didn't even attempt to jog today. I thought sure they'd have to scrape me off the asphalt if I did. Simple sitting and getting up has become an issue today. It's going to be bad again tomorrow, but day four should be easier! Please pray for me!

Victory in Jesus!

Okay, I did it. I got up this morning, read my Scriptures, prayed, then I did it. I started the first day for the rest of my life. I walked/jogged for a full thirty minutes. There were times during the jogging part that I literally thought I was going to pass out! I am not just really over-weight (more than I want to be), but MY OH MY, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!

I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!

I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!

Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!" I pray today finds you basking in the Lord's pleasure and in His presence! Reading through the Psalms this morning brought to my mind how gracious Abba is! I am overflowing with songs of praise this morning! Like..."I am His and He is mine! His banner over me is love!"

When was the last time you were overflowing in His grace? I'm so thankful for His love!

I took my children to see the movie "UP" last night. It was fun for our family, very family friendly. I would encourage anyone with children to see it. There were a couple of parts where Grace was a little scared of "the bad guy", but there wasn't anything necessarily gruesome about it. The story concludes with the concept of continuing to live life even after you think yours is over. It wound up with a very sweet ending.

Also, we had a very good supper at Papa Poblanos. We always love the food there! The girls enjoyed the evening, Hazin enjoyed the evening, but I LOVED it! Just me and my kids for a whole evening!

It was so nice for me to be able to feel like I can still have fun with my children and that our life is not all about laundry and chores. You ever have one of those weeks where you feel like all you do is get on to your children? Well, I had one of those weeks! I was thankful for the evening! I am now looking forward to a day full of friends, birthday parties and shopping! What more could a girl ask for?

Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you remember the Lord's mercy and worship Him this Sabbath! May He keep you and bless you. Thanks for stopping in.

Discipline

I recently shared to blog-world that I have been pounded by the Lord about my poor eating habits. I am here to tell you that this will be no easy feat! I know that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know that to treat it unimportant is to misuse Abba's gift to me. I will not sit here and preach to you what you already know. I will simply state what the Lord has told me. "Whatever reason you claim to avoid eating and living a healthy life are just that... reasons... excuses. Whenever you are ready to trust me completely, let me know."

I began reading Never Say Diet, a book by Chantel Hobbs, yesterday. I can't even tell you that I didn't know it was coming. I don't believe she said anything I haven't already heard before. But I did hear something from my heart I'd never heard before. I want my life to be pleasing to Abba. What I am doing now is not working. I am unhealthy and passing down a lack-of-discipline legacy to my children.

I ask for you to pray for me as I go for this goal. I plan to let you know what I'm doing from time to time. I don't believe the Lord wants me to make this a "weight-loss" blog. What I am doing I am doing to be healthy, not lose weight. If the weight comes off in the process, glory to God! But I'm concerned about the kind of disciple I'm being.

My problems not only lie in health related issues. I'm undisciplined in housekeeping, exercise, schooling my children, money areas.... The list just keeps going. I want to be a disciple. How do I accomplish this? By becoming disciplined! I don't want to live by a strict schedule. I want to live holy and pleasing to the Lord! I want to stand before His throne and hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Not "Well, you did a good job some of the time."

I will tell you that I will fall flat on my face. I will also tell you that I will pick myself up, forgive myself, trust God to give me strength and try again. No unrealistic goals here, just getting healthier one day at a time.

My children have had a virus this week, for all of you who prayed for them, thank you! God is so good and faithful. He is the Master Physician. I know that they are all happy to be feeling better.
Aunt June and Uncle Ralph will be in the area this afternoon, so when I get off work, to Broken Bow, OK we go! It should be a fun evening of games and food.

Leave me a comment and tell me where you need more discipline. Maybe we can help strengthen one another in prayer. God bless all who call upon His name!

Pounding

I just have to say that I love blogging! I read and follow so many good, wonderful, godly people in blog world! :) I never new all this fun existed. I also never knew how powerfully God could use computers to pound His message into my brain!

The message? "Quit excusing your bad eating habits and surrender ALL to me!"

The response? "Yes, Lord, I hear you. Please, forgive my blatant ignoring of your call in my life. I surrender. I'm going to need you moment by moment on this journey. Thank you that your mercies are new each morning. I love you, my Savior, my God."

Is He asking you to surrender anything? I could use all the help I can get knowing I'm not in it alone! Let me hear from you!

What to do?

Hello, blog world. I hope today's post finds you doing well and wishing others well. When I find myself between Bible study materials I revert to reading through the Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the chapter that corresponds with the day's date then each 30th psalm after it, you read through them all in one month. Like today is June 10th, so I read Psalm 10, 40, 70, 100, 130 and Proverbs 10. Some very deep things in there.

Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV) If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.

Ponder for a second what life would be like in Christ if He kept a record of sins. Y'all, I can't fathom that kind of hopelessness. I know how black my sin smears on the purity of Christ. If He kept a record, I would have no reason to keep trying. Those of us who deal with depression could be stuck there forever with verse three. But then comes verse four! "But with you there is forgiveness..." Hallelujah! Does anyone besides me want to jump up and shout out praise to the One True God! Where would I be without His forgiveness? On a train bound for Hell with a one-way-no-returns ticket. All of us would be.

Abba, You are gracious and wonderful! My lips sing Your praise and my feet want to leap with joy dancing before Your throne. Thank you for Your forgiveness. I know I am not worthy of Your grace. I know I can stand in Your presence only because I am covered with Jesus redemptive blood shed on Calvary's cross. I praise you today. Because of your unfailing love I can stand!

In other news, I popped something in my neck last night and it hurts really badly. I can't turn my head to the left. Any sympathy you have would be much appreciated! Thank you for stopping in and reading my pitiful little posts. I only pray it glorifies my Abba.

Whew!

Well, things are getting back to normal around the Hicks household! Trista and Carli are with Grandma Carol and it's just me, Shawn, and our four left at home. We had a fun time, but I'm gonna be glad to get some rest this week-end! I also learned that God is Good! He is so good that He chose not to give me two sets of twins! Having 2 around the age of 6 and 2 around the age of 20 months was a new experience for me. Maybe if I did have twins, I wouldn't say that, but I don't and I said it.

Whew!

We played tickle torture, water sprinkler, sidewalk chalk, coloring books, picture drawing, duct tape purse making, dress-up, jump on the trampoline, swing, make a swimming pool out of the sandbox... the list goes on! And oh the concerts I got to hear! I wish I had a good video camera to record them on. It was a hoot!

I got to hear Trista ask the blessing for the first time at Papa's house. It was voluntary, but she was so nervous. You would have thought she was being asked to perform in order to win a prize or something. When she finished the smile on her face was questioning, "Did I do a good enough job?" Oh, Trista! God doesn't judge your words to see if they were good enough for Him to offer His blessings! He looks upon your heart and hears what's truly going on in there, and He smiles with gladness because you were brave enough to talk out loud to Him! I did my best to re-affirm her, but a parental/role model figure is always left questioning ourselves, "Did I go a good enough job?" I told her I was very proud and that she did very well.

Carli is a parrot. Don't say anything you don't want repeated around her. She just says whatever she hears. And she speaks so clearly. I wish Hazin would, but I'm sure soon I'll be wishing he'd just stop talking for a little while. Maybe that's just a difference between boys and girls. I remember all of my girls talking early and ALOT! It seemed like all they did was talk (and still is). In fact, Grace has a shirt that says, "Talking is my best subject." If any of you know Grace, you know it's true. Maybe boys just don't start off talking as much. He's my first one, so I don't have anything but girls to compare it to. He sure knows how to make truck and horse noises though! He drives and rides with the best of them. "Brrrrrrrrrrr" and "Yaaah" and "Whoa!"

It was sweet to watch the kids love one another and help each other out. It made me feel good to know Beth and I are doing fairly well at teaching them to love each other. Beth's kids are good at quoting Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another...." anytime she asks, "What does the Bible say about being mean to each other?" It was fun to hear them say it and watch their attitudes change accordingly. Thank you, Lord for giving us your Word to learn from and teach to our children!

Now, what's been going on with you? Are you wondering if you did good enough for the Lord? I can assure you we all have those questions and that none of us do good enough to earn the grace of salvation He offers. But ever are we thankful that He offers it to us!

I hear that God is doing good things in Omaha, Nebraska where FBC Foreman is on mission. I miss Beth so much, but am glad to know that God went before them to prepare hearts and is there now doing a work through them! Lord, bring them home safely.

Hope you all have a good week. Maybe later I'll be able to post something intelligible. Right now, my brain is still mush.

Lots of Children!

I've been trying to prepare my house and mind for lots of children. For those of you who don't know me personally, I have four children: (three girls) the oldest is 11, one turning 6 Monday, a precious 3 year old, and my baby boy is 20 months. Some may think that is lots of children, but I believe it's just what I need, if not more.

This evening I will be inheriting two more for almost a week. My nieces will be staying with me while my sister Beth and her family go on a mission trip. The oldest, Trista, is five and the younger one, Carli, is 19 months. My oldest sister, Lisa, and I were pregnant together twice. So Grace (my almost 6 year old) is to-the-day three months older than Trista. They are the best of friends and cousins who love to play together! Most of the time they get along fabulously, but they have their moments like all children. The second time Lisa and I were pregnant together, I had Hazin 7 weeks before she had Carli. They aren't old enough to know it yet, but they are the best of friends too. When they see one another, they just hug like they won't ever let go. It is the sweetest thing. Anyway, Lisa's children stay with Beth, and she (Beth) is taking the three oldest children in her home with her, and leaving the younger two with me for part of the time.

I try to be creative when I have this many to take care of. When you allow children to play without direction for too long, they argue and fuss more. So far I have playing in the water sprinkler and a trip to the park if it isn't raining. That should take up about 1/2 a day. Ummmm I'll take any suggestions you can offer. Just remember that everything has to be planned around the babies' naps! Cannot forget about nap time! Please leave me a comment with any suggestions!

When I woke up this morning I had a really hard time pulling myself together. I wondered why me? I just did not want to get up. Then I remembered that I am supposed to be jumping up and being excited to spend time with my Lord today (and every day). My heart said, "My soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You as in a dry and weary land." Then my mind said, "That's not true Tracey. You're not longing today. You are be slothful and wanting to stay in bed." The Truth is that we all long for God, but sometimes we choose other things. Abiding is a hard thing. To be able to stay in one place, focused on one thing, is a prayer of mine and a struggle. There are so many distractions pulling us in many different ways. Along with your suggestions on kids' activities, feel free to share any tips on abiding...staying connected...being content without being complacent...loving and living like you mean it.

I know that I can't spend all day everyday with a Bible on my lap and never move from "praying position". That's not what I'm talking about. Even when I work, I work to the Lord. Even when I discipline my children, I do so as unto the Lord. Even when I cook supper, cook to the Lord. That's the kind of living I want to do...whatever my hand finds to do, do it as unto the Lord that He might be glorified in me. All I know to say is "Yes, Lord, yes."

Jesus, apart from you, I can do NOTHING. Help me to abide in the True Vine. I love you today.

Growing Up

Why do our children have to grow up? I know that it is God's plan or He wouldn't have made them that way. Sometimes it's just hard to watch! Then again other times and situations you just might welcome it! I have a daughter who threatened me if I blogged about her newest accomplishment in growing up. So I won't mention any names.

What is it that makes kids stink? I never really noticed it until recently, but sometimes kids just smell bad! Beth always warned me that I would say that if I ever had a boy, but Hazin isn't quite old enough yet. He still has baby smells. He doesn't smell like a dirty little boy yet. But I'm finding that girls stink too! I mean down right body funk!

On our way home from Tulsa, one of our girls whose name I cannot use, lifted her arms and we about killed over! We wanted to roll down the windows to escape the smell. We decided on that 5 hour trip that it may be time to start allowing this child to shave her unnamed under-pits. (Grace coined that word at our house. It's a combination of under-arms and arm-pits: under-pits.)

Oh, the dread over my babies growing up. Yes, the growing pains are there, but I believe in this case, they will be worth it. As everyone knows, the less hair you have under your arms, the less stench they give off. Yes, we have taught the necessity of deodorant and antiperspirant, but for some reason only God himself can explain, it just wasn't working. Now maybe we will have relief!

This whole story reminds me of when I was a child. Our family was traveling together and my oldest sister, Lisa, took her shoes off and they smelled so badly Daddy wanted to put them in the back end of the pickup. I don't remember if he actually pulled over and did so, but I remember the drama surrounding the smell.

Which brings me to a point. Am I ignoring areas in my life that are causing a stench in my Abba's nose? What areas do I need to have washed and cleansed with the blood from Calvary? I know we all have areas. You know I'm not talking about your armpits! How about in that closet of personal space you refuse to let the Lord deal with? What are you ignoring that God has asked you to clean up? I've got mine...more than one. Right now, I'm working on anxiety and fear among other things. No, it's not easy, but I want my life to be a fragrant offering to the Lord. (The good kind of fragrance!) I pray when He leans close to tell me He loves me that He doesn't hold his breath because of something I refuse to hand over to Him that is rotting in my soul causing a stench to His nose!

Abba, I know this is a place that I need to work on more. I know You can see my heart and the desire there to be pure before You with no unrighteous thing between us. If I am overlooking areas where I need to clean up or allow You to clean up for me, please bring them to my attention. Like a hightliter marks a page, mark my life and show me how to be holy before You.