Eye of My Hurricane

Ahhhhh. Cara's home. I feel better now, don't you? We successfully got our nieces where they belong, and got our oldest home. Now it is back to life as normal. At least for a week. Shawn leaves on Sunday for Austin, Texas.

On my quest to get healthy I have begun week five and phase 2. I have lost 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches!!! Wooooohooooo! Praise You, Jesus! I couldn't have done this without Your strength. In phase 2 I step up my exercise routine by adding 20 minutes of strength training twice a week. I also get to choose one area of eating to change my habits and no liquid calories for 30 days. I chose meal portions. Only putting enough on my plate, and not eating all the left-overs on the kids plates while I clean up dishes. Upon self-examination, I discovered that I don't like to throw food away. So I end up eating the food left on the children's plates instead of throwing it out, and that ends up making me overweight! I have to admit I'm proud of my 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches.


Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the eye of a hurricane? Life is zooming past you and you are in the center standing still. It's calm where you are, but you feel like you need to be in the activity. You feel like you need to do something, but there doesn't seem to be anything to do.


I feel like I've almost been at a place of inactivity with the Lord. Not that He's been inactive! He is always at work. But I'm used to being "at work" with Him. I've had a long spell here where I feel like He's telling me to draw near and be still. Draw near and be still. In case you haven't caught on to my tendencies through all these posts, I don't do "be still" very well. I want to be needed and I want to be "doing" something for my Abba. Not that He needs my help, just that I want to give it.


I'm standing in the center of my hurricane and my children are growing up before my eyes, my husband is struggling through the ministry God has given him, my sister and her husband seem to be booming in their ministry, etc. And here, I stand. Not doing anything. Not working in ministry. Not actively helping my husband. Just standing. Am I the only one?


I want to draw near and listen. I want to be still and know that He is God. I want to be satisfied to be in His presence. I want to be all the things I'm so good at teaching my children about, but struggle to live out daily!

Abba, hear my plea! I want to be right where You want me! I want to do exactly as You would have me to do! I want to know that I am pleasing You. Oh that my soul would be satisfied with Your presence as with the richest of foods. That Your Word would be my daily bread and the light to my path! I want to draw nearer to You, to hear Your words of encouragement and be satisfied to sit at Your feet in worship. Renew my mind. Be my strength. Let me be pleasing to You.