Ahhhhh. Cara's home. I feel better now, don't you? We successfully got our nieces where they belong, and got our oldest home. Now it is back to life as normal. At least for a week. Shawn leaves on Sunday for Austin, Texas.
On my quest to get healthy I have begun week five and phase 2. I have lost 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches!!! Wooooohooooo! Praise You, Jesus! I couldn't have done this without Your strength. In phase 2 I step up my exercise routine by adding 20 minutes of strength training twice a week. I also get to choose one area of eating to change my habits and no liquid calories for 30 days. I chose meal portions. Only putting enough on my plate, and not eating all the left-overs on the kids plates while I clean up dishes. Upon self-examination, I discovered that I don't like to throw food away. So I end up eating the food left on the children's plates instead of throwing it out, and that ends up making me overweight! I have to admit I'm proud of my 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches.
Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the eye of a hurricane? Life is zooming past you and you are in the center standing still. It's calm where you are, but you feel like you need to be in the activity. You feel like you need to do something, but there doesn't seem to be anything to do.
I feel like I've almost been at a place of inactivity with the Lord. Not that He's been inactive! He is always at work. But I'm used to being "at work" with Him. I've had a long spell here where I feel like He's telling me to draw near and be still. Draw near and be still. In case you haven't caught on to my tendencies through all these posts, I don't do "be still" very well. I want to be needed and I want to be "doing" something for my Abba. Not that He needs my help, just that I want to give it.
I'm standing in the center of my hurricane and my children are growing up before my eyes, my husband is struggling through the ministry God has given him, my sister and her husband seem to be booming in their ministry, etc. And here, I stand. Not doing anything. Not working in ministry. Not actively helping my husband. Just standing. Am I the only one?
I want to draw near and listen. I want to be still and know that He is God. I want to be satisfied to be in His presence. I want to be all the things I'm so good at teaching my children about, but struggle to live out daily!
Abba, hear my plea! I want to be right where You want me! I want to do exactly as You would have me to do! I want to know that I am pleasing You. Oh that my soul would be satisfied with Your presence as with the richest of foods. That Your Word would be my daily bread and the light to my path! I want to draw nearer to You, to hear Your words of encouragement and be satisfied to sit at Your feet in worship. Renew my mind. Be my strength. Let me be pleasing to You.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Random Thoughts
I don't really have much to tell you today. Just thought I'd drop some random thoughts out there for blog-world.
- Cara is gone to church camp with my sister's church. I miss her so much; her infectious smile and laughter. I know she is enjoying herself, though and that makes it easier. If she was pining away for me like I am for her, I'd have gone to pick her up already!
- I am keeping my nieces Trista and Carli again this week. All five of the children at my house range in age from 20 months to 6 years old. As you can imagine, there's lots of activity! Thank you, Lord, for sidewalk chalk and water sprinklers and trampolines!
- Shawn is going to be leaving in about 1-1/2 weeks for Health, Safety, & Environment Training in Austin, TX for his job with LSI. He'll leave Sunday evening the 26th and be home hopefully Friday the 31st, but I will miss him terribly while he's gone!
- I'm on my 4th week of exercising! I am just proud to tell you that I'm still doing it. I've never stuck with an exercise program this long. I've not had any major breakthroughs on my weight issues, but I'm not doing this to lose weight (which I have a little). I'm trying to change to a healthy lifestyle. This is going to take time and stages. Stage one was to get into the habit of exercising. That's what I'm working on now. I'll update you next week as to what my next step is.
- I've found that you can memorize Scripture while you walk. I needed something to keep my mind off of the clock while I'm exercising. I thought about carrying an MP3 player, but then I would miss out on hearing the birds and the stream and the cows out by where I walk. So I decided to take my Scripture memory index cards with me! It has worked out great! Keeps my mind focused on the Lord, while doing something productive for my body.
God is showing His faithfulness. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) He never fails to strengthen me when I need it. He knows I have need of His strength before I do. Thank you, Father for your grace and your strength. Abba, I couldn't have come this far without you. And I adore you, praise you, and desire to serve you. Please hear my heart's cry!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I Fear I Blew My Top
My feelings have been hurt today. Someone took it upon themselves to inform me that I am doing my children an injustice by homeschooling them. She felt she was able to make this declaration because her mother observed that one of my children seemed not to act like the rest of the girls her age at a VBS.
I've never really shared my convictions about homeschooling and such on my blog because I feared offending someone who chooses not to home school. May I just vent for a minute here?
I have never told anyone that they were doing their children an injustice because they send them off to school for 7 hours a day to be indoctrinated by worldviews that are so far from Scripture they in no means can be called godly. I have never said this because I believe that every family should do that which God tells them to do. He has told my family to home school.
My goals are for my children to grow to be godly adults, not normal people. One of my children has a tendency to stand off from the crowd and observe people before she jumps in the fun (just like her father does). One of my children jumps into social settings and makes a splash to be the center of the fun. One of my children chooses to set her own standard for fun and if others want to join in, that's great. My youngest is a ham and he hasn't quite figured out where he fits into social schemes. Every child is different. My oldest child went to public school for kindergarten and 1st grade. She acted the same way in those social settings as she does today. That is just who she is. None of my other children have attended public school, but I believe their personalities would follow them if they did.
My point is this: just because something pops into your head does not mean the Lord intends for you to speak it. It may just hurt someone. I try very much so to not be offended by any thing or any one. I guess today my dander got ruffled because someone chose to attack the very core of what I believe I am teaching my children to be.
I don't want normal children. Normal children are self-centered. Normal children act like their friends because they haven't been taught how to be themselves. Normal children lose their virginity before they are married. Normal children generally have no regards for God and His will for their lives. I DO NOT WANT NORMAL CHILDREN! (Please understand, I am not saying that all children who attend public school are ungodly. I am saying I am simply trying to be obedient to God's call in my life to home school my children.)
Yes, my children act selfishly, yes, my children make mistakes and are human. But my children are also the most precious gift God has given me and it's my job to bring them up in His Word. I want my children to find God every day and seek His guidance. I want them to have active lives of Scripture study and prayer. I want them to know that Scripture holds the answers to life, not a schoolbook. I pray they learn how to rely on the Lord for their daily bread. I want them to put Him above everything else in life.
If I have offended anyone, that was not my purpose. I pray you see my heart for my kids and understand that just as you must do for your family what you believe is best, so must I. Only for the glory of the Lord. I'm not sure I glorified Him today when I almost blew my top. Forgive me, Abba. May I honor You in all I do concerning the education of my children. May Your satisfaction be enough for my heart; I don't want to rely on the approval of others!
"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God." Acts 4:19
I've never really shared my convictions about homeschooling and such on my blog because I feared offending someone who chooses not to home school. May I just vent for a minute here?
I have never told anyone that they were doing their children an injustice because they send them off to school for 7 hours a day to be indoctrinated by worldviews that are so far from Scripture they in no means can be called godly. I have never said this because I believe that every family should do that which God tells them to do. He has told my family to home school.
My goals are for my children to grow to be godly adults, not normal people. One of my children has a tendency to stand off from the crowd and observe people before she jumps in the fun (just like her father does). One of my children jumps into social settings and makes a splash to be the center of the fun. One of my children chooses to set her own standard for fun and if others want to join in, that's great. My youngest is a ham and he hasn't quite figured out where he fits into social schemes. Every child is different. My oldest child went to public school for kindergarten and 1st grade. She acted the same way in those social settings as she does today. That is just who she is. None of my other children have attended public school, but I believe their personalities would follow them if they did.
My point is this: just because something pops into your head does not mean the Lord intends for you to speak it. It may just hurt someone. I try very much so to not be offended by any thing or any one. I guess today my dander got ruffled because someone chose to attack the very core of what I believe I am teaching my children to be.
I don't want normal children. Normal children are self-centered. Normal children act like their friends because they haven't been taught how to be themselves. Normal children lose their virginity before they are married. Normal children generally have no regards for God and His will for their lives. I DO NOT WANT NORMAL CHILDREN! (Please understand, I am not saying that all children who attend public school are ungodly. I am saying I am simply trying to be obedient to God's call in my life to home school my children.)
Yes, my children act selfishly, yes, my children make mistakes and are human. But my children are also the most precious gift God has given me and it's my job to bring them up in His Word. I want my children to find God every day and seek His guidance. I want them to have active lives of Scripture study and prayer. I want them to know that Scripture holds the answers to life, not a schoolbook. I pray they learn how to rely on the Lord for their daily bread. I want them to put Him above everything else in life.
If I have offended anyone, that was not my purpose. I pray you see my heart for my kids and understand that just as you must do for your family what you believe is best, so must I. Only for the glory of the Lord. I'm not sure I glorified Him today when I almost blew my top. Forgive me, Abba. May I honor You in all I do concerning the education of my children. May Your satisfaction be enough for my heart; I don't want to rely on the approval of others!
"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God." Acts 4:19
Friday, June 26, 2009
Sweat Drops of Blood
In the garden of Gethsemane, Scripture reports that Jesus had sweat-drops of blood. We know his horrific death, but a preacher recently revealed that Jesus wasn’t scared of death. He had known that crucifixion would be his destiny since the beginning of time. If this is so, why so much anguish? Because He knew in that moment He would have to become sin.
Remember what He left. Remember the glory He shared with the Father in heaven before coming to earth. God cannot be in the presence of sin. If Jesus was to become sin for us, it meant the first ever separation between the Father and Son and Spirit of God in the history of eternity, not just the history of time. Remember that the Triune God exists eternally. He was before time. He IS in this time and will be for eternity future.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had sweat-drops of blood because for the first time ever, he would be completely human. He would know what it is like to be separated from God. We know this separation because we are born into it, but Jesus was God-Man. He was not born into sin. He lived a perfect life and had never, even in his humanity, been completely separated from the presence of his Father and The Holy Spirit.
As Jesus hung on the cross, he became sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) that we might become righteous. We cannot be righteous apart from Him. In that moment, as he hung on the cross and cried out “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?” he became sin. My sin, your sin, he became sin. It wasn’t for his own sin that he hung there, but for ours. He had never known that kind of separation.
So apart from the cruel way he had to die, he chose to pay the ultimate price. That price was separation from his Father so that we might have a bridge to cross in order to get to Him (the Father). Jesus is our way, our only way to God.Am I grieved over my sin? Obviously I am not as grieved as Jesus was. I don’t walk around with sweat-drops of blood coming from my face. I’m not even sure I cry over my sin like I should. My sin not only separates me from God, but it was the very thing that caused Christ’s death. Shouldn't that shake me up enough not to continue in sin?
I am now undertaking the memorization of Romans 6 so that I can learn how to combat the sin problems in my life. I don’t want to grieve the Lord any more. I want to grieve myself and change it. No, I’m not saying I can be perfect, but I am saying I can be better than I am. How about you?
Remember what He left. Remember the glory He shared with the Father in heaven before coming to earth. God cannot be in the presence of sin. If Jesus was to become sin for us, it meant the first ever separation between the Father and Son and Spirit of God in the history of eternity, not just the history of time. Remember that the Triune God exists eternally. He was before time. He IS in this time and will be for eternity future.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had sweat-drops of blood because for the first time ever, he would be completely human. He would know what it is like to be separated from God. We know this separation because we are born into it, but Jesus was God-Man. He was not born into sin. He lived a perfect life and had never, even in his humanity, been completely separated from the presence of his Father and The Holy Spirit.
As Jesus hung on the cross, he became sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) that we might become righteous. We cannot be righteous apart from Him. In that moment, as he hung on the cross and cried out “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?” he became sin. My sin, your sin, he became sin. It wasn’t for his own sin that he hung there, but for ours. He had never known that kind of separation.
So apart from the cruel way he had to die, he chose to pay the ultimate price. That price was separation from his Father so that we might have a bridge to cross in order to get to Him (the Father). Jesus is our way, our only way to God.Am I grieved over my sin? Obviously I am not as grieved as Jesus was. I don’t walk around with sweat-drops of blood coming from my face. I’m not even sure I cry over my sin like I should. My sin not only separates me from God, but it was the very thing that caused Christ’s death. Shouldn't that shake me up enough not to continue in sin?
I am now undertaking the memorization of Romans 6 so that I can learn how to combat the sin problems in my life. I don’t want to grieve the Lord any more. I want to grieve myself and change it. No, I’m not saying I can be perfect, but I am saying I can be better than I am. How about you?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Lay Off
Monday of this week, my husband received a nasty little letter from human resources at the company he works for. It said, "You are laid off effective July 2, 2009." He called me and I was very proud of myself for not just bursting out wailing in tears on the phone. I was calm, cool, collected and in shock.
His job is good for him. He likes what he does, learning new things and being trained to take on bigger things. God has used him to minister to his co-workers and he enjoys the people he works with. To make things worse, we found out that his lay-off was a mistake, but they couldn't correct it now because the paperwork had never been finished when he was transferred to his new project. Why would God allow something like this to happen?
Because..."you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:3-4) I will confess to you that Shawn and I have not been the best money managers since we married nearly 12 years ago. We have failed to honor God with our finances so many times. Just when I think we've got it under control, something else happens and we choose to not trust God to supply our needs. I know that it takes time, but I was so scared of what would happen to us if he lost his job.
When someone asked me what we were going to do, the only thing I knew to say was, "Well, we're going to keep trusting the Lord to provide for our needs. That will probably take a re-evaluation of what is a need vs. a want, but God will be faithful."
God was already at work though! Shawn's supervisors and fellow employees went to bat for him and found him another position in the company. Boy, does He provide! Was He on time or what? Today, I am singing the praises of my Savior! He is the Savior of my soul, and my life, but also the Savior of my finances and well-being.
Abba, I stand in awe of Your love for me today. I stand in awe of who You are! I am so blessed to be a recipient of Your grace and mercy. I will praise Your name because You are Great! I will sing of Your never-ending love for me! You are God alone, and I praise you.
How has God shown His faithfulness to you lately? I'd love to hear about it!
By the way, I'm on day two of my goal to work-out for 30 minutes a day, five days a week, four weeks in a row. Can I just say I AM SO SORE!!! I didn't even attempt to jog today. I thought sure they'd have to scrape me off the asphalt if I did. Simple sitting and getting up has become an issue today. It's going to be bad again tomorrow, but day four should be easier! Please pray for me!
His job is good for him. He likes what he does, learning new things and being trained to take on bigger things. God has used him to minister to his co-workers and he enjoys the people he works with. To make things worse, we found out that his lay-off was a mistake, but they couldn't correct it now because the paperwork had never been finished when he was transferred to his new project. Why would God allow something like this to happen?
Because..."you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:3-4) I will confess to you that Shawn and I have not been the best money managers since we married nearly 12 years ago. We have failed to honor God with our finances so many times. Just when I think we've got it under control, something else happens and we choose to not trust God to supply our needs. I know that it takes time, but I was so scared of what would happen to us if he lost his job.
When someone asked me what we were going to do, the only thing I knew to say was, "Well, we're going to keep trusting the Lord to provide for our needs. That will probably take a re-evaluation of what is a need vs. a want, but God will be faithful."
God was already at work though! Shawn's supervisors and fellow employees went to bat for him and found him another position in the company. Boy, does He provide! Was He on time or what? Today, I am singing the praises of my Savior! He is the Savior of my soul, and my life, but also the Savior of my finances and well-being.
Abba, I stand in awe of Your love for me today. I stand in awe of who You are! I am so blessed to be a recipient of Your grace and mercy. I will praise Your name because You are Great! I will sing of Your never-ending love for me! You are God alone, and I praise you.
How has God shown His faithfulness to you lately? I'd love to hear about it!
By the way, I'm on day two of my goal to work-out for 30 minutes a day, five days a week, four weeks in a row. Can I just say I AM SO SORE!!! I didn't even attempt to jog today. I thought sure they'd have to scrape me off the asphalt if I did. Simple sitting and getting up has become an issue today. It's going to be bad again tomorrow, but day four should be easier! Please pray for me!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Victory in Jesus!
Okay, I did it. I got up this morning, read my Scriptures, prayed, then I did it. I started the first day for the rest of my life. I walked/jogged for a full thirty minutes. There were times during the jogging part that I literally thought I was going to pass out! I am not just really over-weight (more than I want to be), but MY OH MY, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!
I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!
I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!
Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?
I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!
I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!
Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?
Saturday, June 20, 2009
"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!" I pray today finds you basking in the Lord's pleasure and in His presence! Reading through the Psalms this morning brought to my mind how gracious Abba is! I am overflowing with songs of praise this morning! Like..."I am His and He is mine! His banner over me is love!"
When was the last time you were overflowing in His grace? I'm so thankful for His love!
I took my children to see the movie "UP" last night. It was fun for our family, very family friendly. I would encourage anyone with children to see it. There were a couple of parts where Grace was a little scared of "the bad guy", but there wasn't anything necessarily gruesome about it. The story concludes with the concept of continuing to live life even after you think yours is over. It wound up with a very sweet ending.
Also, we had a very good supper at Papa Poblanos. We always love the food there! The girls enjoyed the evening, Hazin enjoyed the evening, but I LOVED it! Just me and my kids for a whole evening!
It was so nice for me to be able to feel like I can still have fun with my children and that our life is not all about laundry and chores. You ever have one of those weeks where you feel like all you do is get on to your children? Well, I had one of those weeks! I was thankful for the evening! I am now looking forward to a day full of friends, birthday parties and shopping! What more could a girl ask for?
Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you remember the Lord's mercy and worship Him this Sabbath! May He keep you and bless you. Thanks for stopping in.
When was the last time you were overflowing in His grace? I'm so thankful for His love!
I took my children to see the movie "UP" last night. It was fun for our family, very family friendly. I would encourage anyone with children to see it. There were a couple of parts where Grace was a little scared of "the bad guy", but there wasn't anything necessarily gruesome about it. The story concludes with the concept of continuing to live life even after you think yours is over. It wound up with a very sweet ending.
Also, we had a very good supper at Papa Poblanos. We always love the food there! The girls enjoyed the evening, Hazin enjoyed the evening, but I LOVED it! Just me and my kids for a whole evening!
It was so nice for me to be able to feel like I can still have fun with my children and that our life is not all about laundry and chores. You ever have one of those weeks where you feel like all you do is get on to your children? Well, I had one of those weeks! I was thankful for the evening! I am now looking forward to a day full of friends, birthday parties and shopping! What more could a girl ask for?
Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you remember the Lord's mercy and worship Him this Sabbath! May He keep you and bless you. Thanks for stopping in.
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