I think I am learning more and more why God chose to set His ultimate creation in family units. I knew all along that the purpose of the husband-wife relationship was to demonstrate Abba's desire to have a love relationship with us as our Sacrifice. As I relate to my husband and strive to put aside selfishness in my marriage relationship, for Shawn's benefit, it makes me value the sacrifice Christ made to be my Redeemer.
As a parent, I am learning how God relates to us as His children. This past weekend I witnessed something in my children I was shocked to overhear. There was intense anger and venom in the words coming from my two oldest daughters. I immediately summarized that this, of course, was because I had failed as a parent to teach them properly how to love and relate to one another with words of love, right? Well, I must admit I was a little deflated that they could speak to one another like this and I did feel a little like a bad mom. After all, aren't our children's reactions a direct result of our teachings/examples?
Upon hearing the interaction I was almost speechless. Please note I was almost speechless. Truthfully, I had to hold my tongue because I wanted to say so much! I promptly told them to hug, kiss, apologize, and tell the other "I love you." (This is parenting according to Euna, my mother. I cannot tell you how many times my sisters had to do this!) Then I told them to go to their respective "corners", think about their actions, and that they would be grounded. I hadn't figured out from what yet, but grounded they would be.
As I prayed about how to handle this situation, I pondered quietly while trying to listen to the Holy Spirit's prompting. I figured this would be a good time to contemplate how the Lord relates to us a Father, Abba, Daddy... He loves us so much. I wonder how much I disappoint Him with my spiteful speech about other children that belong to Him? How many times has He had to look into this heart of mine and be heart-broken over the depth of anger and sin He sees in me? Knowing I've let Him down in the same way my own children had revealed their hearts to me, I prayed harder for how to handle the situation in a way that would honor Him and teach them to try to change these behaviors.
I am NOT going to try to tell you that God revealed anything new to me in parenting and that all parents everywhere should try this and it will be guaranteed to work! I am going to tell you that after seeking guidance, I knew peace. I knew that He still loves me even though I mess up. I knew that no matter how my children might disappoint me, I still love them.
The next morning, the three of us sat down to talk about it. I read Philippians 2:3-4 to them. It says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." We discussed the meaning of these verses, and how no matter what the "reasons" for their anger toward one another, the truth was: it all boiled down to selfishness. When we don't get what we want, we get angry. When the other person doesn't do or say what we want, we get angry. It all boils down to selfishness, looking out for our own interests, not the interests of others.
I went on to ground them from several things for one week. Nothing too severe, but I'm seeing a change in attitudes! Praise you, Jesus, for working in my children's lives. Your Spirit is affective even in the smallest of people. Thank you for being the God of family, the God of children and the God of marriage.
Showing posts with label pleasing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pleasing. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Stickin' With Ya
Every so often, I try to sit with my oldest daughter and ask how things are going with her spiritually. For instance, before she left for church camp, I encouraged her to be sensitive to God's leadership and convictions. Last night, I was able to visit with her a little bit.
My goal with this posting is not to tell you our conversation because I wouldn't want to break her confidence. But the concepts of it, I believe, will be beneficial for parents with young Christian children. (Not that I've got a corner on that market or anything!)
Statistics show that children form their worldviews by the time they reach 13 years of age. If the habits and attitudes that are prevalent by that age are good, they will likely have the same ones into adulthood. But the same goes for bad attitudes and habits! If I do not cultivate selfLESSness, my children will bend toward selfISHness. But if, as the mother of a Christian youngster, I impress upon that child that decisions he/she makes when at the age of nine will affect the person he/she is at age eleven. And decisions at age eleven are likely to stick around through teenage years, etc. on into adulthood. Thus, who that person decides to be at age 13 will not likely differ too much from what the person is at age 23. It sticks with ya!
You may say, "I didn't really decide who I was going to be at age 13. I just am who I am." I will say to you, "We all choose how to respond to situations, whether we respond well or not. My eleven-year-old can choose her words and reactions just like I do. She just may not have been taught how to choose the better responses yet."
What about your family? Do you encourage your young ones to choose responses and attitudes based on God's Word, or do you just encourage them to be who they are and express themselves with no guidance or restraint? I'm not talking about discipline or punishment; putting them in time-out for a bad attitude or smart mouth. I'm talking about teaching them to put on the whole armor of God so they can stand against the worldviews that are trying to destroy believers today. That way maybe the child can learn to curb his/her tongue before the words spew and pursue godliness in speech/attitude/actions/etc.
My goal with this posting is not to tell you our conversation because I wouldn't want to break her confidence. But the concepts of it, I believe, will be beneficial for parents with young Christian children. (Not that I've got a corner on that market or anything!)
Statistics show that children form their worldviews by the time they reach 13 years of age. If the habits and attitudes that are prevalent by that age are good, they will likely have the same ones into adulthood. But the same goes for bad attitudes and habits! If I do not cultivate selfLESSness, my children will bend toward selfISHness. But if, as the mother of a Christian youngster, I impress upon that child that decisions he/she makes when at the age of nine will affect the person he/she is at age eleven. And decisions at age eleven are likely to stick around through teenage years, etc. on into adulthood. Thus, who that person decides to be at age 13 will not likely differ too much from what the person is at age 23. It sticks with ya!
You may say, "I didn't really decide who I was going to be at age 13. I just am who I am." I will say to you, "We all choose how to respond to situations, whether we respond well or not. My eleven-year-old can choose her words and reactions just like I do. She just may not have been taught how to choose the better responses yet."
What about your family? Do you encourage your young ones to choose responses and attitudes based on God's Word, or do you just encourage them to be who they are and express themselves with no guidance or restraint? I'm not talking about discipline or punishment; putting them in time-out for a bad attitude or smart mouth. I'm talking about teaching them to put on the whole armor of God so they can stand against the worldviews that are trying to destroy believers today. That way maybe the child can learn to curb his/her tongue before the words spew and pursue godliness in speech/attitude/actions/etc.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I Fear I Blew My Top
My feelings have been hurt today. Someone took it upon themselves to inform me that I am doing my children an injustice by homeschooling them. She felt she was able to make this declaration because her mother observed that one of my children seemed not to act like the rest of the girls her age at a VBS.
I've never really shared my convictions about homeschooling and such on my blog because I feared offending someone who chooses not to home school. May I just vent for a minute here?
I have never told anyone that they were doing their children an injustice because they send them off to school for 7 hours a day to be indoctrinated by worldviews that are so far from Scripture they in no means can be called godly. I have never said this because I believe that every family should do that which God tells them to do. He has told my family to home school.
My goals are for my children to grow to be godly adults, not normal people. One of my children has a tendency to stand off from the crowd and observe people before she jumps in the fun (just like her father does). One of my children jumps into social settings and makes a splash to be the center of the fun. One of my children chooses to set her own standard for fun and if others want to join in, that's great. My youngest is a ham and he hasn't quite figured out where he fits into social schemes. Every child is different. My oldest child went to public school for kindergarten and 1st grade. She acted the same way in those social settings as she does today. That is just who she is. None of my other children have attended public school, but I believe their personalities would follow them if they did.
My point is this: just because something pops into your head does not mean the Lord intends for you to speak it. It may just hurt someone. I try very much so to not be offended by any thing or any one. I guess today my dander got ruffled because someone chose to attack the very core of what I believe I am teaching my children to be.
I don't want normal children. Normal children are self-centered. Normal children act like their friends because they haven't been taught how to be themselves. Normal children lose their virginity before they are married. Normal children generally have no regards for God and His will for their lives. I DO NOT WANT NORMAL CHILDREN! (Please understand, I am not saying that all children who attend public school are ungodly. I am saying I am simply trying to be obedient to God's call in my life to home school my children.)
Yes, my children act selfishly, yes, my children make mistakes and are human. But my children are also the most precious gift God has given me and it's my job to bring them up in His Word. I want my children to find God every day and seek His guidance. I want them to have active lives of Scripture study and prayer. I want them to know that Scripture holds the answers to life, not a schoolbook. I pray they learn how to rely on the Lord for their daily bread. I want them to put Him above everything else in life.
If I have offended anyone, that was not my purpose. I pray you see my heart for my kids and understand that just as you must do for your family what you believe is best, so must I. Only for the glory of the Lord. I'm not sure I glorified Him today when I almost blew my top. Forgive me, Abba. May I honor You in all I do concerning the education of my children. May Your satisfaction be enough for my heart; I don't want to rely on the approval of others!
"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God." Acts 4:19
I've never really shared my convictions about homeschooling and such on my blog because I feared offending someone who chooses not to home school. May I just vent for a minute here?
I have never told anyone that they were doing their children an injustice because they send them off to school for 7 hours a day to be indoctrinated by worldviews that are so far from Scripture they in no means can be called godly. I have never said this because I believe that every family should do that which God tells them to do. He has told my family to home school.
My goals are for my children to grow to be godly adults, not normal people. One of my children has a tendency to stand off from the crowd and observe people before she jumps in the fun (just like her father does). One of my children jumps into social settings and makes a splash to be the center of the fun. One of my children chooses to set her own standard for fun and if others want to join in, that's great. My youngest is a ham and he hasn't quite figured out where he fits into social schemes. Every child is different. My oldest child went to public school for kindergarten and 1st grade. She acted the same way in those social settings as she does today. That is just who she is. None of my other children have attended public school, but I believe their personalities would follow them if they did.
My point is this: just because something pops into your head does not mean the Lord intends for you to speak it. It may just hurt someone. I try very much so to not be offended by any thing or any one. I guess today my dander got ruffled because someone chose to attack the very core of what I believe I am teaching my children to be.
I don't want normal children. Normal children are self-centered. Normal children act like their friends because they haven't been taught how to be themselves. Normal children lose their virginity before they are married. Normal children generally have no regards for God and His will for their lives. I DO NOT WANT NORMAL CHILDREN! (Please understand, I am not saying that all children who attend public school are ungodly. I am saying I am simply trying to be obedient to God's call in my life to home school my children.)
Yes, my children act selfishly, yes, my children make mistakes and are human. But my children are also the most precious gift God has given me and it's my job to bring them up in His Word. I want my children to find God every day and seek His guidance. I want them to have active lives of Scripture study and prayer. I want them to know that Scripture holds the answers to life, not a schoolbook. I pray they learn how to rely on the Lord for their daily bread. I want them to put Him above everything else in life.
If I have offended anyone, that was not my purpose. I pray you see my heart for my kids and understand that just as you must do for your family what you believe is best, so must I. Only for the glory of the Lord. I'm not sure I glorified Him today when I almost blew my top. Forgive me, Abba. May I honor You in all I do concerning the education of my children. May Your satisfaction be enough for my heart; I don't want to rely on the approval of others!
"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God." Acts 4:19
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Victory in Jesus!
Okay, I did it. I got up this morning, read my Scriptures, prayed, then I did it. I started the first day for the rest of my life. I walked/jogged for a full thirty minutes. There were times during the jogging part that I literally thought I was going to pass out! I am not just really over-weight (more than I want to be), but MY OH MY, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!
I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!
I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!
Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?
I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!
I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!
Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Discipline
I recently shared to blog-world that I have been pounded by the Lord about my poor eating habits. I am here to tell you that this will be no easy feat! I know that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know that to treat it unimportant is to misuse Abba's gift to me. I will not sit here and preach to you what you already know. I will simply state what the Lord has told me. "Whatever reason you claim to avoid eating and living a healthy life are just that... reasons... excuses. Whenever you are ready to trust me completely, let me know."
I began reading Never Say Diet, a book by Chantel Hobbs, yesterday. I can't even tell you that I didn't know it was coming. I don't believe she said anything I haven't already heard before. But I did hear something from my heart I'd never heard before. I want my life to be pleasing to Abba. What I am doing now is not working. I am unhealthy and passing down a lack-of-discipline legacy to my children.
I ask for you to pray for me as I go for this goal. I plan to let you know what I'm doing from time to time. I don't believe the Lord wants me to make this a "weight-loss" blog. What I am doing I am doing to be healthy, not lose weight. If the weight comes off in the process, glory to God! But I'm concerned about the kind of disciple I'm being.
My problems not only lie in health related issues. I'm undisciplined in housekeeping, exercise, schooling my children, money areas.... The list just keeps going. I want to be a disciple. How do I accomplish this? By becoming disciplined! I don't want to live by a strict schedule. I want to live holy and pleasing to the Lord! I want to stand before His throne and hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Not "Well, you did a good job some of the time."
I will tell you that I will fall flat on my face. I will also tell you that I will pick myself up, forgive myself, trust God to give me strength and try again. No unrealistic goals here, just getting healthier one day at a time.
My children have had a virus this week, for all of you who prayed for them, thank you! God is so good and faithful. He is the Master Physician. I know that they are all happy to be feeling better.
Aunt June and Uncle Ralph will be in the area this afternoon, so when I get off work, to Broken Bow, OK we go! It should be a fun evening of games and food.
Leave me a comment and tell me where you need more discipline. Maybe we can help strengthen one another in prayer. God bless all who call upon His name!
I began reading Never Say Diet, a book by Chantel Hobbs, yesterday. I can't even tell you that I didn't know it was coming. I don't believe she said anything I haven't already heard before. But I did hear something from my heart I'd never heard before. I want my life to be pleasing to Abba. What I am doing now is not working. I am unhealthy and passing down a lack-of-discipline legacy to my children.
I ask for you to pray for me as I go for this goal. I plan to let you know what I'm doing from time to time. I don't believe the Lord wants me to make this a "weight-loss" blog. What I am doing I am doing to be healthy, not lose weight. If the weight comes off in the process, glory to God! But I'm concerned about the kind of disciple I'm being.
My problems not only lie in health related issues. I'm undisciplined in housekeeping, exercise, schooling my children, money areas.... The list just keeps going. I want to be a disciple. How do I accomplish this? By becoming disciplined! I don't want to live by a strict schedule. I want to live holy and pleasing to the Lord! I want to stand before His throne and hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Not "Well, you did a good job some of the time."
I will tell you that I will fall flat on my face. I will also tell you that I will pick myself up, forgive myself, trust God to give me strength and try again. No unrealistic goals here, just getting healthier one day at a time.
My children have had a virus this week, for all of you who prayed for them, thank you! God is so good and faithful. He is the Master Physician. I know that they are all happy to be feeling better.
Aunt June and Uncle Ralph will be in the area this afternoon, so when I get off work, to Broken Bow, OK we go! It should be a fun evening of games and food.
Leave me a comment and tell me where you need more discipline. Maybe we can help strengthen one another in prayer. God bless all who call upon His name!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Girlfriend, let me tell you!
Girlfriend, let me tell you! Yesterday when I got home from work, Shawn had stopped by the store. For my birthday, he grilled ribeye steaks (my fave!), fried squash, mac-n-cheese. On top of all that was a mushy birthday card with a Dr. Pepper and a huge Hershey's bar. Does my man know what I like or what? Jesus, thank you for sending him to me and not someone else!
I could have whined because I didn't get the jewelry I like, or the big Fry-Daddy thingy I want, but just to know that my husband knows me like that was worth it! No other present could have spoken to me the way those things did. It told me that he pays attention to me. He knows me well enough to know my likes and dislikes.
If that wasn't enough, he even told the kids to stay out of my Dr. Pepper and chocolate! Wow, a treat just for Mom. That doesn't happen very often! Have you had something special lately? Just for you? Just for the record, I plan on sharing my Hershey bar with my children today at lunch. All four of those chololate-loving kids will get some of it. We all know my hips need no more help! (Shhh...don't tell Shawn I shared!)
All I know to say is, "Thank you!" Everyone wished me a Happy Birthday and I loved it. I had a great day. I am so thankful to my Lord for giving me the gift of "life to the fullest" (John 10:10). He is the giver of all good things. Good things like: eternal life, salvation, a good man, children, peace, monetary blessings, groceries, friends, sisters... I could go on, but I think you understand where I'm coming from. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness.
How about you? Use the comment button below and tell me what you are thankful for!
I could have whined because I didn't get the jewelry I like, or the big Fry-Daddy thingy I want, but just to know that my husband knows me like that was worth it! No other present could have spoken to me the way those things did. It told me that he pays attention to me. He knows me well enough to know my likes and dislikes.
If that wasn't enough, he even told the kids to stay out of my Dr. Pepper and chocolate! Wow, a treat just for Mom. That doesn't happen very often! Have you had something special lately? Just for you? Just for the record, I plan on sharing my Hershey bar with my children today at lunch. All four of those chololate-loving kids will get some of it. We all know my hips need no more help! (Shhh...don't tell Shawn I shared!)
All I know to say is, "Thank you!" Everyone wished me a Happy Birthday and I loved it. I had a great day. I am so thankful to my Lord for giving me the gift of "life to the fullest" (John 10:10). He is the giver of all good things. Good things like: eternal life, salvation, a good man, children, peace, monetary blessings, groceries, friends, sisters... I could go on, but I think you understand where I'm coming from. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness.
How about you? Use the comment button below and tell me what you are thankful for!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Happy Birthday
I turn 32 today. The question weighing on my mind is "Is my life pleasing to the Lord?" It doesn't matter to me today if I've made my husband, children, parents, etc. proud. Don't get me wrong, their thoughts do matter, but my concern is my Abba. Have I made Him proud? Have I taken the steps necessary to please my Lord?
I struggle with wrong eating habits. I want to do better, but the good I want to do, I do not do. Does anyone hear Paul?!? I want to do better to honor my Jesus with my body. Please pray along those lines for me. I want to be prepared to do battle for Him on any war field. Including, but not limited to, eating, prayer, my mouthy words, children, marriage...
Is my life pleasing to my Abba? I know you can't answer that question for me, but I want to be open to hear from the Lord His thoughts and desires for me.
What about you? Tell me what you think. Is there something you wish you could change? How can I pray for you? On your next birthday, what will you be reflecting on? Let me know something! Thanks for stopping by.
I struggle with wrong eating habits. I want to do better, but the good I want to do, I do not do. Does anyone hear Paul?!? I want to do better to honor my Jesus with my body. Please pray along those lines for me. I want to be prepared to do battle for Him on any war field. Including, but not limited to, eating, prayer, my mouthy words, children, marriage...
Is my life pleasing to my Abba? I know you can't answer that question for me, but I want to be open to hear from the Lord His thoughts and desires for me.
What about you? Tell me what you think. Is there something you wish you could change? How can I pray for you? On your next birthday, what will you be reflecting on? Let me know something! Thanks for stopping by.
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