Convictions

Have you ever wondered why your parents allowed certain things that you would never allow your own children to do? Or vice verse: why you would allow your children certain privileges that your parents would have never dreamed of allowing you to do. I am positive that my parents loved me as much as I love my own children. I am positive that my parents wanted to give me better than they had growing up, as I would like to do for my children. My sister and I have this conversation frequently. We have come to believe that the difference lies in convictions.

I grew up in a Christian home where we attended church all the time. I watched my parents attend prayer meetings, try to read their Bibles regularly, and try to raise us up "right". I believe for the most part they did a great job. But I know I never learned how to live a Spirit-filled life in Christ as a child. I think they tried hard, but I think there were some convictions missing in their lives,and subsequently, they were missing in my life. That is, until I chose to get my own convictions.

Convictions like:

• giving my children a godly education.
• courting versus dating.
• everything in my life has spiritual implications. (All things, good or bad, affect my spiritual walk, no matter how inconsequential they may seem.)

Shawn and I have chosen to home school our children. This decision was not one that was made overnight, nor was it one that everyone in our family agreed with. This was a conviction that we had from the Lord. I will never tell you that your family needs to home school. That is between you and God, not you and me.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says, "These commands that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

How can we talk to our children about them when we were only spending about 4 hours a day with them and 3 of those hours were filled with homework and bath time? We did send our oldest daughter to school for a couple of years, but our conviction from the Lord was that she would be better off learning about Him from us. I found out quickly that my daughter was much more influenced by the school children than they were influenced by her. And I don't think anyone could argue that the public school district was going to teach my child about God's love and Jesus Christ's Deity!

The burden I have on my heart for each of my children to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior and to have a vibrant, growing, love relationship with Him! Did you hear what I said? I have a burden. I don't just want them to, or think they need to. My heart is heavy with the weight of my responsibility to introduce them to Him. When they were in my womb I started praying for the salvation of their souls, and have not stopped. I am jealous for the opportunity to be the one to lead them to Christ. I try my best to teach them every day the Good News of the Gospel so they know that they sin, that Christ died for that sin and was raised back to life to conquer that sin.

Two of mine have accepted His gift of forgiveness. For them, my burden has changed to teach them how to love Jesus more today than they did yesterday. I strive to be an example to them of what a vibrant follower of Christ is. To show them how to rely on His strength when we are weak and how to find His Truth for the problems we face are daily goals. I do not live a passive faith in front of them. We constantly talk about self control over our actions and our words and our thoughts. I strive to teach them that sin can begin and end if we control our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

I pray you can see that this decision was not haphazardly made. A public school teacher or school mates will not teach my children how to do these things. It is my burden for a reason: God gave me a conviction. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I plan to write about the other points soon.

Grace's Baptism

The joys of motherhood are many, but only birth can compare to the experience of leading a child to the Lord! I has this great opportunity on August 30th. Now, I give you the baptism!

This is my middle daughter, Grace, with my husband, Shawn in the baptismal waters. He had to help her swim to the red crate she's standing on! The water was up to her neck. We all got tickled, and I wish I had shot video instead of still photos.

Here she's coming back up out of the water. I am so proud of her! She is showing the world now that she is in Christ she has been raised from death to life to walk in His fullness!

On a lighter note, Abigail, our younger daughter, asked, "Grace, why come you were up there holdin' your nose and when you come up, your hair was all wet?" Grace replied, "Because I went under the water. That's what happens when you get baptized. One day you'll get baptized too, Sweetheart." And then they hugged! How precious is that!?!?!?!

God is soooo Good!...All the Time!

Salvation in No Other Name!

It must be every Christian mother's prayer that their child come to know the grace of Christ and accept His gift of salvation. I have been so blessed in my life to be able to lead my oldest daughter to salvation in Christ. I've always said that I am jealous of that experience with my children. In fact, last spring when I saw that Grace, my second child, was getting close to understanding about accepting Christ, I went and talked to her teachers at church. I asked that if she started the process and I was anywhere in the building for them to please find me because I wanted to be there. I'll be honest and tell you that I prefer to be the one leading them, but if I couldn't do that, I wanted to at least be in the room!

Some people ask me, "Isn't the important thing that they get saved? It shouldn't matter who leads them." Well, that may be easy for some people to say. They haven't invested all the time into teaching my children that I have. From the time they were born it's been me who tells them about Jesus and their sin and the need for Him to be their Savior. My children did not learn these concepts at church, but in the back seat of my car, and at the grocery store, and on our living room floor, and around our kitchen table! My child's Sunday school teacher hasn't been the one to answer 1,001 questions about the topic. It's been me and my husband! So no, in the grand scheme of things, maybe it doesn't matter WHO leads them, as long as they gain salvation, but I covet the experience! And I don't feel convicted of being sinful over this. I want me or Shawn to be the one to lead them, because we've been the ones to teach them.

So you can only imagine how ecstatic I was when we were reviewing AWANA verses on Sunday afternoon, August 30, 2009. Grace is six years old and in the SPARKS club. Each letter of the word SPARKS has a word and verse they have to learn. The acrostic goes like this:

S IS FOR SAVIOR 1 John 4:14
P IS FOR POWER Psalm 147:5
A IS FOR ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPTURE 1 Corinthians 15:3
R IS FOR ROSE AGAIN 1 Corinthians 15:4
K IS FOR KEEP James 2:10
S IS FOR SAVED Acts 16:31

After quoting each letter, what it stands for, and verse, I would ask Grace to tell me what the verse meant. We had gone through S, P, A, & R. We were on K when I asked what the verse meant and she said, "I have no idea!" James 2:10 states, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point; He is guilty of all."

I started explaining about the law, and what it meant to "keep the whole law". We talked about the Ten Commandments and how the verse says if you break one of them, you've broken all of them. I explained that in Old Testament times that a person who did not keep the whole law had to offer a sacrifice for payment of their sins. We discussed how in today's times, we don't offer sacrifices because Jesus , who kept the whole law, offered himself as the sacrifice. All we have to do is choose to accept the gift of His sacrifice for our sin.

I asked Grace if all this was making sense to her when she hung her head and remained silent. I asked what was wrong when she said with tears, "I know I'm not going to heaven because I've lied!" At this point, we went to her bedroom to talk, and the rest is history!

Grace trusted Jesus Christ as the sacrifice for her sin. She has a home in heaven now. She understands that her sin is paid in full, and now she needs to try to live for Jesus. The highlight of any mother's life!!!! Being able to lead her children to faith in our Lord!

Two down, Two to go! I'd love to hear your comments!

Sweat Drops of Blood

In the garden of Gethsemane, Scripture reports that Jesus had sweat-drops of blood. We know his horrific death, but a preacher recently revealed that Jesus wasn’t scared of death. He had known that crucifixion would be his destiny since the beginning of time. If this is so, why so much anguish? Because He knew in that moment He would have to become sin.


Remember what He left. Remember the glory He shared with the Father in heaven before coming to earth. God cannot be in the presence of sin. If Jesus was to become sin for us, it meant the first ever separation between the Father and Son and Spirit of God in the history of eternity, not just the history of time. Remember that the Triune God exists eternally. He was before time. He IS in this time and will be for eternity future.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had sweat-drops of blood because for the first time ever, he would be completely human. He would know what it is like to be separated from God. We know this separation because we are born into it, but Jesus was God-Man. He was not born into sin. He lived a perfect life and had never, even in his humanity, been completely separated from the presence of his Father and The Holy Spirit.


As Jesus hung on the cross, he became sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) that we might become righteous. We cannot be righteous apart from Him. In that moment, as he hung on the cross and cried out “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?” he became sin. My sin, your sin, he became sin. It wasn’t for his own sin that he hung there, but for ours. He had never known that kind of separation.

So apart from the cruel way he had to die, he chose to pay the ultimate price. That price was separation from his Father so that we might have a bridge to cross in order to get to Him (the Father). Jesus is our way, our only way to God.Am I grieved over my sin? Obviously I am not as grieved as Jesus was. I don’t walk around with sweat-drops of blood coming from my face. I’m not even sure I cry over my sin like I should. My sin not only separates me from God, but it was the very thing that caused Christ’s death. Shouldn't that shake me up enough not to continue in sin?

I am now undertaking the memorization of Romans 6 so that I can learn how to combat the sin problems in my life. I don’t want to grieve the Lord any more. I want to grieve myself and change it. No, I’m not saying I can be perfect, but I am saying I can be better than I am. How about you?

Lay Off

Monday of this week, my husband received a nasty little letter from human resources at the company he works for. It said, "You are laid off effective July 2, 2009." He called me and I was very proud of myself for not just bursting out wailing in tears on the phone. I was calm, cool, collected and in shock.

His job is good for him. He likes what he does, learning new things and being trained to take on bigger things. God has used him to minister to his co-workers and he enjoys the people he works with. To make things worse, we found out that his lay-off was a mistake, but they couldn't correct it now because the paperwork had never been finished when he was transferred to his new project. Why would God allow something like this to happen?

Because..."you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:3-4) I will confess to you that Shawn and I have not been the best money managers since we married nearly 12 years ago. We have failed to honor God with our finances so many times. Just when I think we've got it under control, something else happens and we choose to not trust God to supply our needs. I know that it takes time, but I was so scared of what would happen to us if he lost his job.

When someone asked me what we were going to do, the only thing I knew to say was, "Well, we're going to keep trusting the Lord to provide for our needs. That will probably take a re-evaluation of what is a need vs. a want, but God will be faithful."

God was already at work though! Shawn's supervisors and fellow employees went to bat for him and found him another position in the company. Boy, does He provide! Was He on time or what? Today, I am singing the praises of my Savior! He is the Savior of my soul, and my life, but also the Savior of my finances and well-being.

Abba, I stand in awe of Your love for me today. I stand in awe of who You are! I am so blessed to be a recipient of Your grace and mercy. I will praise Your name because You are Great! I will sing of Your never-ending love for me! You are God alone, and I praise you.

How has God shown His faithfulness to you lately? I'd love to hear about it!

By the way, I'm on day two of my goal to work-out for 30 minutes a day, five days a week, four weeks in a row. Can I just say I AM SO SORE!!! I didn't even attempt to jog today. I thought sure they'd have to scrape me off the asphalt if I did. Simple sitting and getting up has become an issue today. It's going to be bad again tomorrow, but day four should be easier! Please pray for me!

Victory in Jesus!

Okay, I did it. I got up this morning, read my Scriptures, prayed, then I did it. I started the first day for the rest of my life. I walked/jogged for a full thirty minutes. There were times during the jogging part that I literally thought I was going to pass out! I am not just really over-weight (more than I want to be), but MY OH MY, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!

I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!

I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!

Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?

Discipline

I recently shared to blog-world that I have been pounded by the Lord about my poor eating habits. I am here to tell you that this will be no easy feat! I know that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know that to treat it unimportant is to misuse Abba's gift to me. I will not sit here and preach to you what you already know. I will simply state what the Lord has told me. "Whatever reason you claim to avoid eating and living a healthy life are just that... reasons... excuses. Whenever you are ready to trust me completely, let me know."

I began reading Never Say Diet, a book by Chantel Hobbs, yesterday. I can't even tell you that I didn't know it was coming. I don't believe she said anything I haven't already heard before. But I did hear something from my heart I'd never heard before. I want my life to be pleasing to Abba. What I am doing now is not working. I am unhealthy and passing down a lack-of-discipline legacy to my children.

I ask for you to pray for me as I go for this goal. I plan to let you know what I'm doing from time to time. I don't believe the Lord wants me to make this a "weight-loss" blog. What I am doing I am doing to be healthy, not lose weight. If the weight comes off in the process, glory to God! But I'm concerned about the kind of disciple I'm being.

My problems not only lie in health related issues. I'm undisciplined in housekeeping, exercise, schooling my children, money areas.... The list just keeps going. I want to be a disciple. How do I accomplish this? By becoming disciplined! I don't want to live by a strict schedule. I want to live holy and pleasing to the Lord! I want to stand before His throne and hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Not "Well, you did a good job some of the time."

I will tell you that I will fall flat on my face. I will also tell you that I will pick myself up, forgive myself, trust God to give me strength and try again. No unrealistic goals here, just getting healthier one day at a time.

My children have had a virus this week, for all of you who prayed for them, thank you! God is so good and faithful. He is the Master Physician. I know that they are all happy to be feeling better.
Aunt June and Uncle Ralph will be in the area this afternoon, so when I get off work, to Broken Bow, OK we go! It should be a fun evening of games and food.

Leave me a comment and tell me where you need more discipline. Maybe we can help strengthen one another in prayer. God bless all who call upon His name!

What to do?

Hello, blog world. I hope today's post finds you doing well and wishing others well. When I find myself between Bible study materials I revert to reading through the Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the chapter that corresponds with the day's date then each 30th psalm after it, you read through them all in one month. Like today is June 10th, so I read Psalm 10, 40, 70, 100, 130 and Proverbs 10. Some very deep things in there.

Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV) If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.

Ponder for a second what life would be like in Christ if He kept a record of sins. Y'all, I can't fathom that kind of hopelessness. I know how black my sin smears on the purity of Christ. If He kept a record, I would have no reason to keep trying. Those of us who deal with depression could be stuck there forever with verse three. But then comes verse four! "But with you there is forgiveness..." Hallelujah! Does anyone besides me want to jump up and shout out praise to the One True God! Where would I be without His forgiveness? On a train bound for Hell with a one-way-no-returns ticket. All of us would be.

Abba, You are gracious and wonderful! My lips sing Your praise and my feet want to leap with joy dancing before Your throne. Thank you for Your forgiveness. I know I am not worthy of Your grace. I know I can stand in Your presence only because I am covered with Jesus redemptive blood shed on Calvary's cross. I praise you today. Because of your unfailing love I can stand!

In other news, I popped something in my neck last night and it hurts really badly. I can't turn my head to the left. Any sympathy you have would be much appreciated! Thank you for stopping in and reading my pitiful little posts. I only pray it glorifies my Abba.

Greetings from Tulsa

Good morning. We will be heading back home in a little bit and I wanted to let everyone know we are doing fine. The funeral service yesterday was beautiful. It is a blessing when you can be assured you will see a loved one again in heaven. I cannot fathom the depth of loss felt when a believer in Christ loses a loved one that doesn't believe. That kind of loss is too much. That kind of loss is too great and painful. I've never experienced it, and I surely don't want to. I hope you don't ever have to experience it either.

Does that spur you on to share your faith? Does it make you wonder if those you love are secure in salvation through faith in Jesus Christ? It does me! I pray that I will be a better witness of God's love and blessings through salvation in my life.

On a lighter note, let me tell you what Cara did. Grandpa and Grandma have a swing hanging from a pear tree in the back yard. It is just a small one, mind you, and Cara's bottom is almost too big for the seat anyway. But she was swinging on it with her eyes closed talking to me and she kept getting higher and higher. The next think I know she hollers "ow!" I asked what was wrong and she said she hit her head on a pear. It was funny to us, and maybe you had to be there to think it was funny. Cara asked me today if I had written anything about her on my blog yet. I jokingly told her that she hadn't done anything cute lately. Of course, she gasped like she was shocked. Then she said, "I'm your child. Isn't that enough?"

The answer is, "yes! That is more than enough!" I love you Cara and of all the Cara Leiann's in the whole wide world, you are my favorite! Thank you for all your help and your boldness in Christ. I pray that you will always live for the Lord and honor Him with your life. I love you.

Esther

I'm fixing to jet out the door to head for north Arkansas and northeast Oklahoma. Hope you all have a great weekend. Just wanted to drop you a quick line.

I finished my Bible study on Beth Moore's "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman". I encourage anyone interested in Scripture to study this! Especially if you are a woman who loves the Lord! I enjoyed it so much. I learned things about myself that I didn't know, I learned things about God I didn't know, and I learned things about Esther I didn't know. And I thought I was pretty smart.

The main thing I learned is that God can turn any situation around. And the way to taking a different direction is trusting enough to take the first step.

I just needed to know that. God can turn it around even when I cannot. All I have to do is trust him. And oh, He is so worthy of my trust! The Only One who has never let me down!

Love ya! Thanks for stopping by!

Random Life

Hope you had a great Memorial Day. I hope you found a moment to remember in prayer the families of those great men and women who have sacrificed their lives for freedom's sake. Or if you know a family personally, say, "Thank you."

Our Memorial Day weekend was a hoot! Friday night, Shawn was in the rodeo in Idabel, OK. Saturday, we had a lazy day of family time. It was great just being together with the six of us. Sunday morning we awoke to Abi's first words being, "Daddy, I just need to puke." Boy, if that won't start your day, nothing will! Shawn moves quickly when vomit is involved. Me, on the other hand, I am relatively calm in emergency situations. So Abigail was sick all day Sunday. Shawn left Sunday afternoon for the Warner bulldogging jackpot and Ft. Smith rodeo.

On Monday, the kids and I headed to Magnolia to spend time with Paula, Kaylie, and Jonathan Sweet. It was unknown to me that her air conditioner is out!!!! No air at work, no air at Paula's... Maybe God is trying to get through to me about these hot and uncomfortable situations. We had a fun, full day of visiting, moving furniture around and trying to locate an affordable window air conditioning unit! We drove home Monday evening and I put the kiddos straight to bed. Fifteen minutes later, Abigail was coughing her head off, gagging and crying...kept me up all night! She was better Tuesday morning. God is so good! None of the other children got sick or have felt bad. In a family of six, that's no easy task! Thank you, Abba.

I received the joy of leading a young man in his twenties to salvation. Jesus is so good to us. He creates us, loves us, died for us, and saves us. This man knew where he was spiritually. He knew the destiny of his soul. He stated very plainly that he knew he had said words in the past, but he didn't mean them. He knew if he died at that moment, he would spend eternity in hell.

I was so eager to share with him the plan of salvation, I kind of didn't even give Shawn much of a chance to talk. Looking back, I think maybe I should have, but when God puts a burning in your soul you HAVE to share! It reminded me of Jeremiah when he said he tried to not share the prophecy God had given him. Jeremiah 20:9 says, "But if I say, 'I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." You understand, I just HAD to.

We spoke of sin and the need of a Savior. We spoke of the way to that Savior and that there was no other way to get there. We spoke of salvation not being a deed that gets done, but a relationship that needs fostering care and love and time to grow. I loved that as we were reading through the Scriptures he was actively searching the verses himself like it was the first time he'd ever heard them. (It may have been.) We read Romans 10:9-10 that states, "That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." I explained that it was that simple. Know you need a Savior, know that Jesus is the only way, say with your mouth "Jesus is Lord", and you will be saved. I couldn't even finish explaining it and he was proclaiming confidently that Jesus is Lord! I loved it. It was the high-light of my week.

Do you remember when it happened for you? Maybe you've heard it a thousand times. Maybe you read this and it's the first you've ever heard it. I remember like it was yesterday! But I'm so glad it didn't end there. It is still going on today. Jesus is still saving me and making me holy. (I know, I know, it's hopeless, but one day He's gonna glorify me and you'll be thinking, "Wow! Look what Jesus did with her!") Feel free to leave me a comment and tell me what God's done for you. Or if you don't think He's ever done that and you'd like to know more, contact me by email at: too_i@hotmail.com

I pray you have a blessed day! Jesus, thank you for using me as your vessel. I love what you've done for me! I love the fact you did it for everyone. No one's past is beyond your grace, praise You, Abba!

Do You Believeth?

We started having a time of Scripture reading/discussion at night before bed-time. Last night during our "flamily time" (Abi's word for it) Grace asked a question. Y'all, that baby is close to making a decision to trust Christ as her Savior. She is very sensitive about Christ dying and sin right now. She asks hard questions and expects real answers! She doesn't want you to tell her, "You'll understand when you get older." She is seeking the answers to the questions that all of our souls long for, but not all of us are brave enough to ask.

The question was, "How come people believeth in God when they don't even love him?" She learned John 3:16 (King James Version) "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Ever since then, she says believeth.

How come people believeth in God when they don't even love him? Do you hear that? How do you tell a five-almost-six year old the truth in terms she can understand? How do you tell her that you can know the truth and choose not to love? How do you tell her that just because something is right doesn't mean it comes without cost? Shawn patiently tried to answer her in words she could understand. She sat there with this confused look on her face. I was really beginning to be concerned that she would have the wrong perception of believing and loving. I wanted to tell her the truth without scaring her or worrying her. She's been so prone to tears about these kinds of topics lately.

I thought of how I would want someone to explain it to me. Quickly the Lord sent James 2:19 to my mind: "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that -- and shutter." I thought to myself, there is no way that the demons love God. They've made it clear that their purpose is to try to destroy God's kingdom. Here was our answer.

I decided to let God answer for himself. I told Grace what the verse said. She was surprised that the Devil would even believe in God. I explained that Satan wants to be God, but he can't be and that's why he doesn't love God.

I wonder how many of us do that..."believeth" in Him, but not "loveth" Him? I explained to Grace that just because you know about God and Jesus and you know all the stories from the Bible, it doesn't mean that you are a Christian. It doesn't make you love God just to know about Him. Without the relationship there is no purpose in all the knowledge.

How 'bout you today? Do you know about God and the stories from the Scriptures? Do you know that He loves you and died in your place so you could experience eternal life? All it takes is turning that knowledge to trust. Nothing but perfection can be in heaven. Admit you cannot be good enough to go to heaven on your own. "Believeth" that Jesus is the answer to the problem. Confess to Him that He is Lord. Trust Him to be enough for you. Enough for today. For tomorrow. For eternity.

He is, you know. He is enough. Thank you, Jesus, for being willing. I don't know why you love me enough to want a relationship with me, but I thank you that you do! I'd be lost without your love.