Convictions

Have you ever wondered why your parents allowed certain things that you would never allow your own children to do? Or vice verse: why you would allow your children certain privileges that your parents would have never dreamed of allowing you to do. I am positive that my parents loved me as much as I love my own children. I am positive that my parents wanted to give me better than they had growing up, as I would like to do for my children. My sister and I have this conversation frequently. We have come to believe that the difference lies in convictions.

I grew up in a Christian home where we attended church all the time. I watched my parents attend prayer meetings, try to read their Bibles regularly, and try to raise us up "right". I believe for the most part they did a great job. But I know I never learned how to live a Spirit-filled life in Christ as a child. I think they tried hard, but I think there were some convictions missing in their lives,and subsequently, they were missing in my life. That is, until I chose to get my own convictions.

Convictions like:

• giving my children a godly education.
• courting versus dating.
• everything in my life has spiritual implications. (All things, good or bad, affect my spiritual walk, no matter how inconsequential they may seem.)

Shawn and I have chosen to home school our children. This decision was not one that was made overnight, nor was it one that everyone in our family agreed with. This was a conviction that we had from the Lord. I will never tell you that your family needs to home school. That is between you and God, not you and me.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says, "These commands that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

How can we talk to our children about them when we were only spending about 4 hours a day with them and 3 of those hours were filled with homework and bath time? We did send our oldest daughter to school for a couple of years, but our conviction from the Lord was that she would be better off learning about Him from us. I found out quickly that my daughter was much more influenced by the school children than they were influenced by her. And I don't think anyone could argue that the public school district was going to teach my child about God's love and Jesus Christ's Deity!

The burden I have on my heart for each of my children to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior and to have a vibrant, growing, love relationship with Him! Did you hear what I said? I have a burden. I don't just want them to, or think they need to. My heart is heavy with the weight of my responsibility to introduce them to Him. When they were in my womb I started praying for the salvation of their souls, and have not stopped. I am jealous for the opportunity to be the one to lead them to Christ. I try my best to teach them every day the Good News of the Gospel so they know that they sin, that Christ died for that sin and was raised back to life to conquer that sin.

Two of mine have accepted His gift of forgiveness. For them, my burden has changed to teach them how to love Jesus more today than they did yesterday. I strive to be an example to them of what a vibrant follower of Christ is. To show them how to rely on His strength when we are weak and how to find His Truth for the problems we face are daily goals. I do not live a passive faith in front of them. We constantly talk about self control over our actions and our words and our thoughts. I strive to teach them that sin can begin and end if we control our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

I pray you can see that this decision was not haphazardly made. A public school teacher or school mates will not teach my children how to do these things. It is my burden for a reason: God gave me a conviction. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I plan to write about the other points soon.

Learning...

What am I learning from the Lord right now?

I am learning that introspection doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be helpful and releasing! I can actually look inside myself and see Him, not my version of my own self-worth.

I am learning that He loves me and forgives me completely. No sin is greater than He is able to forgive! All we have to do is ask.

I recently lost a baby and have been struggling to see myself as a creation of great worth to Him. Thinking that if I was a good mom, God would've let me have that child and the others that I've lost. God knows what He's doing though. You see, I began that pregnancy just as I started a Bible study on "Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee. That was no accident. Abba knew that I'd need to know my worth in His eyes as He beholds me covered by the blood of Christ. I've been able to dig down deep and see what my Lord sees in me.

What does He see, you ask? He sees someone made in His image, "fearfully & wonderfully made," forgiven by His grace and glorified by His redemption!

I wonder, what have you been learning from the Lord?

Salvation in No Other Name!

It must be every Christian mother's prayer that their child come to know the grace of Christ and accept His gift of salvation. I have been so blessed in my life to be able to lead my oldest daughter to salvation in Christ. I've always said that I am jealous of that experience with my children. In fact, last spring when I saw that Grace, my second child, was getting close to understanding about accepting Christ, I went and talked to her teachers at church. I asked that if she started the process and I was anywhere in the building for them to please find me because I wanted to be there. I'll be honest and tell you that I prefer to be the one leading them, but if I couldn't do that, I wanted to at least be in the room!

Some people ask me, "Isn't the important thing that they get saved? It shouldn't matter who leads them." Well, that may be easy for some people to say. They haven't invested all the time into teaching my children that I have. From the time they were born it's been me who tells them about Jesus and their sin and the need for Him to be their Savior. My children did not learn these concepts at church, but in the back seat of my car, and at the grocery store, and on our living room floor, and around our kitchen table! My child's Sunday school teacher hasn't been the one to answer 1,001 questions about the topic. It's been me and my husband! So no, in the grand scheme of things, maybe it doesn't matter WHO leads them, as long as they gain salvation, but I covet the experience! And I don't feel convicted of being sinful over this. I want me or Shawn to be the one to lead them, because we've been the ones to teach them.

So you can only imagine how ecstatic I was when we were reviewing AWANA verses on Sunday afternoon, August 30, 2009. Grace is six years old and in the SPARKS club. Each letter of the word SPARKS has a word and verse they have to learn. The acrostic goes like this:

S IS FOR SAVIOR 1 John 4:14
P IS FOR POWER Psalm 147:5
A IS FOR ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPTURE 1 Corinthians 15:3
R IS FOR ROSE AGAIN 1 Corinthians 15:4
K IS FOR KEEP James 2:10
S IS FOR SAVED Acts 16:31

After quoting each letter, what it stands for, and verse, I would ask Grace to tell me what the verse meant. We had gone through S, P, A, & R. We were on K when I asked what the verse meant and she said, "I have no idea!" James 2:10 states, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point; He is guilty of all."

I started explaining about the law, and what it meant to "keep the whole law". We talked about the Ten Commandments and how the verse says if you break one of them, you've broken all of them. I explained that in Old Testament times that a person who did not keep the whole law had to offer a sacrifice for payment of their sins. We discussed how in today's times, we don't offer sacrifices because Jesus , who kept the whole law, offered himself as the sacrifice. All we have to do is choose to accept the gift of His sacrifice for our sin.

I asked Grace if all this was making sense to her when she hung her head and remained silent. I asked what was wrong when she said with tears, "I know I'm not going to heaven because I've lied!" At this point, we went to her bedroom to talk, and the rest is history!

Grace trusted Jesus Christ as the sacrifice for her sin. She has a home in heaven now. She understands that her sin is paid in full, and now she needs to try to live for Jesus. The highlight of any mother's life!!!! Being able to lead her children to faith in our Lord!

Two down, Two to go! I'd love to hear your comments!

I Fear I Blew My Top

My feelings have been hurt today. Someone took it upon themselves to inform me that I am doing my children an injustice by homeschooling them. She felt she was able to make this declaration because her mother observed that one of my children seemed not to act like the rest of the girls her age at a VBS.

I've never really shared my convictions about homeschooling and such on my blog because I feared offending someone who chooses not to home school. May I just vent for a minute here?

I have never told anyone that they were doing their children an injustice because they send them off to school for 7 hours a day to be indoctrinated by worldviews that are so far from Scripture they in no means can be called godly. I have never said this because I believe that every family should do that which God tells them to do. He has told my family to home school.

My goals are for my children to grow to be godly adults, not normal people. One of my children has a tendency to stand off from the crowd and observe people before she jumps in the fun (just like her father does). One of my children jumps into social settings and makes a splash to be the center of the fun. One of my children chooses to set her own standard for fun and if others want to join in, that's great. My youngest is a ham and he hasn't quite figured out where he fits into social schemes. Every child is different. My oldest child went to public school for kindergarten and 1st grade. She acted the same way in those social settings as she does today. That is just who she is. None of my other children have attended public school, but I believe their personalities would follow them if they did.

My point is this: just because something pops into your head does not mean the Lord intends for you to speak it. It may just hurt someone. I try very much so to not be offended by any thing or any one. I guess today my dander got ruffled because someone chose to attack the very core of what I believe I am teaching my children to be.

I don't want normal children. Normal children are self-centered. Normal children act like their friends because they haven't been taught how to be themselves. Normal children lose their virginity before they are married. Normal children generally have no regards for God and His will for their lives. I DO NOT WANT NORMAL CHILDREN! (Please understand, I am not saying that all children who attend public school are ungodly. I am saying I am simply trying to be obedient to God's call in my life to home school my children.)

Yes, my children act selfishly, yes, my children make mistakes and are human. But my children are also the most precious gift God has given me and it's my job to bring them up in His Word. I want my children to find God every day and seek His guidance. I want them to have active lives of Scripture study and prayer. I want them to know that Scripture holds the answers to life, not a schoolbook. I pray they learn how to rely on the Lord for their daily bread. I want them to put Him above everything else in life.

If I have offended anyone, that was not my purpose. I pray you see my heart for my kids and understand that just as you must do for your family what you believe is best, so must I. Only for the glory of the Lord. I'm not sure I glorified Him today when I almost blew my top. Forgive me, Abba. May I honor You in all I do concerning the education of my children. May Your satisfaction be enough for my heart; I don't want to rely on the approval of others!

"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God." Acts 4:19

Sweat Drops of Blood

In the garden of Gethsemane, Scripture reports that Jesus had sweat-drops of blood. We know his horrific death, but a preacher recently revealed that Jesus wasn’t scared of death. He had known that crucifixion would be his destiny since the beginning of time. If this is so, why so much anguish? Because He knew in that moment He would have to become sin.


Remember what He left. Remember the glory He shared with the Father in heaven before coming to earth. God cannot be in the presence of sin. If Jesus was to become sin for us, it meant the first ever separation between the Father and Son and Spirit of God in the history of eternity, not just the history of time. Remember that the Triune God exists eternally. He was before time. He IS in this time and will be for eternity future.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had sweat-drops of blood because for the first time ever, he would be completely human. He would know what it is like to be separated from God. We know this separation because we are born into it, but Jesus was God-Man. He was not born into sin. He lived a perfect life and had never, even in his humanity, been completely separated from the presence of his Father and The Holy Spirit.


As Jesus hung on the cross, he became sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) that we might become righteous. We cannot be righteous apart from Him. In that moment, as he hung on the cross and cried out “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?” he became sin. My sin, your sin, he became sin. It wasn’t for his own sin that he hung there, but for ours. He had never known that kind of separation.

So apart from the cruel way he had to die, he chose to pay the ultimate price. That price was separation from his Father so that we might have a bridge to cross in order to get to Him (the Father). Jesus is our way, our only way to God.Am I grieved over my sin? Obviously I am not as grieved as Jesus was. I don’t walk around with sweat-drops of blood coming from my face. I’m not even sure I cry over my sin like I should. My sin not only separates me from God, but it was the very thing that caused Christ’s death. Shouldn't that shake me up enough not to continue in sin?

I am now undertaking the memorization of Romans 6 so that I can learn how to combat the sin problems in my life. I don’t want to grieve the Lord any more. I want to grieve myself and change it. No, I’m not saying I can be perfect, but I am saying I can be better than I am. How about you?

Pounding

I just have to say that I love blogging! I read and follow so many good, wonderful, godly people in blog world! :) I never new all this fun existed. I also never knew how powerfully God could use computers to pound His message into my brain!

The message? "Quit excusing your bad eating habits and surrender ALL to me!"

The response? "Yes, Lord, I hear you. Please, forgive my blatant ignoring of your call in my life. I surrender. I'm going to need you moment by moment on this journey. Thank you that your mercies are new each morning. I love you, my Savior, my God."

Is He asking you to surrender anything? I could use all the help I can get knowing I'm not in it alone! Let me hear from you!

What to do?

Hello, blog world. I hope today's post finds you doing well and wishing others well. When I find myself between Bible study materials I revert to reading through the Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the chapter that corresponds with the day's date then each 30th psalm after it, you read through them all in one month. Like today is June 10th, so I read Psalm 10, 40, 70, 100, 130 and Proverbs 10. Some very deep things in there.

Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV) If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.

Ponder for a second what life would be like in Christ if He kept a record of sins. Y'all, I can't fathom that kind of hopelessness. I know how black my sin smears on the purity of Christ. If He kept a record, I would have no reason to keep trying. Those of us who deal with depression could be stuck there forever with verse three. But then comes verse four! "But with you there is forgiveness..." Hallelujah! Does anyone besides me want to jump up and shout out praise to the One True God! Where would I be without His forgiveness? On a train bound for Hell with a one-way-no-returns ticket. All of us would be.

Abba, You are gracious and wonderful! My lips sing Your praise and my feet want to leap with joy dancing before Your throne. Thank you for Your forgiveness. I know I am not worthy of Your grace. I know I can stand in Your presence only because I am covered with Jesus redemptive blood shed on Calvary's cross. I praise you today. Because of your unfailing love I can stand!

In other news, I popped something in my neck last night and it hurts really badly. I can't turn my head to the left. Any sympathy you have would be much appreciated! Thank you for stopping in and reading my pitiful little posts. I only pray it glorifies my Abba.