Random Thoughts

Cara did great at the Regional Bible drill!  She only missed one.  For a first-time driller, that is an excellent thing!  She is hiding God's word in her heart, learning good Bible skills, and challenging herself to go beyond what she thought she could do.  And her mother is so proud of her!

Last night, I was privileged to serve at the Associational Vacation Bible School clinic at our church.  I had a very, very busy day trying to get everything ready.  I had originally agreed to be in charge of the snack preparation.  That job is big enough in itself!  Our director/pastor's-wife could not convince anyone to teach the 5th-6th grade class.  Me, always willing to bite off more than I can chew, volunteered to teach that class and do the snacks that I had already agreed to do.

So, I'm chewing, chewing, chewing, hoping to get it small enough I can swallow...  I find some delegates!!!  God is in charge of the details, I am just the vessel willing to be used.  I have to admit though, that I was feeling more than a little overwhelmed yesterday afternoon.  After all the planning, and all the delegating that I could do, I just trusted that God would work it all out.  You know what?  He did!

I went to the store and got what I needed, got to the church and started working as early as I could.  There was a little nagging thought in the back of my mind that said, "Tracey, there is no way this will work out."  Then my help showed up a little later than I expected her...like an hour and a half later than expected!  I was in a near panic by that time.  What could I do but keep working?  Some of the youth came in to help me, some of the ladies from my church came in an started helping.  I found myself singing, and realized that without even thinking about it, I was praying!  God exploded peace in the midst of my crisis!  He took care of the details that I couldn't!

I went to teach my 5th-6th grade session.  His presence was all over me, around me, and I was near bursting with love for Him!  Those poor students in my class had to listen to me go on and on about how much I love Jesus and how much I love children!  That's a pretty good combination for VBS, I thought.  What is better than bringing together two things you love very much?

I know I'm just rambling, but I want you to know how good our God is!  He is a God of details!  He knows what we need before we do.  And when you think that you can't, He can!  God let me know yesterday that He hears me when I pray to Him!  He also let me know that I am His.  I cannot express to you how loved I feel right now.  I hope you feel loved too!

It Will Not Return Void

Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (NKJ)

Psalm 119:11 "Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You." (NKJ)

I am so excited! Today, Cara is competing in the regional Bible drill. I can remember the nerves and the fear and the hopes that I had competing in Bible drill as a child! I am so proud of her for hanging in there and finishing all by herself. Everyone else in her group dropped out half-way through, leaving her to be the only person competing in Bible drill from our church.

For those of you not familiar with it, Bible drill is just what is says. You work really hard and memorize 25 verses from the Bible, ten key passages, along with the order of all 66 books in the Bible. During the drill the "caller" will call any of the verses and you have ten seconds to remember it and step forward. For the key passage drill, you have ten seconds to find the passage in your Bible and step forward. In the book drill, the caller can call any of the 66 books. You must find the book in ten seconds and be able to tell him the book before, the book called, and the book after.

I participated in Bible drill for six years when I was a child. God declares in Scripture that His "word will not return void." How true that is! Many times during my rebellion against God, He reminded me of what His word says. A still small whisper would bring one of these verses I have memorized back to my mind. Even after all these twenty-something years, I can quote most of those verses! His words, His promise. It will NOT return void.

I claim this promise for Cara! Abba, You promised your word will not return void. I pray that for years to come, you would help Cara to apply these truths she is hiding in her heart now. Make them a lamp to her feet and a light to her path, Lord. Help her to see that your statutes are good and not burdensome!

How about you? Are you hiding His word in your heart so you might not sin against Him? Are you allowing His word to be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path? His promise is true for you too! Start memorizing it, and it will NOT return void!

Convictions

Have you ever wondered why your parents allowed certain things that you would never allow your own children to do? Or vice verse: why you would allow your children certain privileges that your parents would have never dreamed of allowing you to do. I am positive that my parents loved me as much as I love my own children. I am positive that my parents wanted to give me better than they had growing up, as I would like to do for my children. My sister and I have this conversation frequently. We have come to believe that the difference lies in convictions.

I grew up in a Christian home where we attended church all the time. I watched my parents attend prayer meetings, try to read their Bibles regularly, and try to raise us up "right". I believe for the most part they did a great job. But I know I never learned how to live a Spirit-filled life in Christ as a child. I think they tried hard, but I think there were some convictions missing in their lives,and subsequently, they were missing in my life. That is, until I chose to get my own convictions.

Convictions like:

• giving my children a godly education.
• courting versus dating.
• everything in my life has spiritual implications. (All things, good or bad, affect my spiritual walk, no matter how inconsequential they may seem.)

Shawn and I have chosen to home school our children. This decision was not one that was made overnight, nor was it one that everyone in our family agreed with. This was a conviction that we had from the Lord. I will never tell you that your family needs to home school. That is between you and God, not you and me.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says, "These commands that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

How can we talk to our children about them when we were only spending about 4 hours a day with them and 3 of those hours were filled with homework and bath time? We did send our oldest daughter to school for a couple of years, but our conviction from the Lord was that she would be better off learning about Him from us. I found out quickly that my daughter was much more influenced by the school children than they were influenced by her. And I don't think anyone could argue that the public school district was going to teach my child about God's love and Jesus Christ's Deity!

The burden I have on my heart for each of my children to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior and to have a vibrant, growing, love relationship with Him! Did you hear what I said? I have a burden. I don't just want them to, or think they need to. My heart is heavy with the weight of my responsibility to introduce them to Him. When they were in my womb I started praying for the salvation of their souls, and have not stopped. I am jealous for the opportunity to be the one to lead them to Christ. I try my best to teach them every day the Good News of the Gospel so they know that they sin, that Christ died for that sin and was raised back to life to conquer that sin.

Two of mine have accepted His gift of forgiveness. For them, my burden has changed to teach them how to love Jesus more today than they did yesterday. I strive to be an example to them of what a vibrant follower of Christ is. To show them how to rely on His strength when we are weak and how to find His Truth for the problems we face are daily goals. I do not live a passive faith in front of them. We constantly talk about self control over our actions and our words and our thoughts. I strive to teach them that sin can begin and end if we control our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

I pray you can see that this decision was not haphazardly made. A public school teacher or school mates will not teach my children how to do these things. It is my burden for a reason: God gave me a conviction. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I plan to write about the other points soon.

Learning...

What am I learning from the Lord right now?

I am learning that introspection doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be helpful and releasing! I can actually look inside myself and see Him, not my version of my own self-worth.

I am learning that He loves me and forgives me completely. No sin is greater than He is able to forgive! All we have to do is ask.

I recently lost a baby and have been struggling to see myself as a creation of great worth to Him. Thinking that if I was a good mom, God would've let me have that child and the others that I've lost. God knows what He's doing though. You see, I began that pregnancy just as I started a Bible study on "Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee. That was no accident. Abba knew that I'd need to know my worth in His eyes as He beholds me covered by the blood of Christ. I've been able to dig down deep and see what my Lord sees in me.

What does He see, you ask? He sees someone made in His image, "fearfully & wonderfully made," forgiven by His grace and glorified by His redemption!

I wonder, what have you been learning from the Lord?

Grace's Baptism

The joys of motherhood are many, but only birth can compare to the experience of leading a child to the Lord! I has this great opportunity on August 30th. Now, I give you the baptism!

This is my middle daughter, Grace, with my husband, Shawn in the baptismal waters. He had to help her swim to the red crate she's standing on! The water was up to her neck. We all got tickled, and I wish I had shot video instead of still photos.

Here she's coming back up out of the water. I am so proud of her! She is showing the world now that she is in Christ she has been raised from death to life to walk in His fullness!

On a lighter note, Abigail, our younger daughter, asked, "Grace, why come you were up there holdin' your nose and when you come up, your hair was all wet?" Grace replied, "Because I went under the water. That's what happens when you get baptized. One day you'll get baptized too, Sweetheart." And then they hugged! How precious is that!?!?!?!

God is soooo Good!...All the Time!

Abigail's Funnies

I wanted to share a few stories about Abigail. We were at my dad's house last Sunday eating lunch. My sister, Beth, was there. All the nieces and nephews call her "Becca". The conversations go something like this:

Beth: Abigail, I just love your freckles!

Abigail: Those are not freckles, Aunt Becca! They are just my polk-a-dots. I got one right there, and one right there, and one right there!

Later, Abigail and her oldest sister, Cara, were picking on each other. Abigail touches Cara on the shoulder with her index finger and says, "Caaarrrraaaa, I'm touching you!" And Cara is very aggravated by this! Next, Abigail touches Aunt Becca's leg with her toes.

Abigail: AAuuunnnttt Beeecccccaaaaa, I'm touching you!

Beth (who used to get furious with me, her little sister, when I did this): Abigail, why are you being ugly?

Abigail: I just like to be ug-a-ly!

Accountability

I am currently doing a Bible study by Chuck Lawless titled "Putting on the Full Armor of God". I have been a believer for 23 years and I haven't done a whole lot of studying on the armor. I've always known it was there, but I never gave it much thought, other than simply praying that the Lord would help me to wear it and use it.

I would liken my experience to a soldier signing up for the Army, filling out all the paperwork and skipping Basic Training to go straight into battle. I believe that most of the Christian population could agree and sympathize with my view on this! When were you trained to be a believer? I "got saved", "got baptized", and went to church my whole childhood. I guess they thought that attendance counted as discipleship.

Please don't misunderstand me. These things are very, very important! I would be so far from where I am if I had not been actively involved in the life of my local church during my growing-up years. I gained lots of enrichment from the teachers and pastors I've studied under.

But I also know how much heart-ache I could have saved myself and Abba if someone had come along beside me and taught me the importance of accountability. I haven't sought out proper accountability in my life. This is something I am working on doing and something I am trying to teach my children as they grow up in the Lord. Right now, I am their main accountability source, but as they get older, we will seek out peers or older believers that, with the Lord's guidance, will be mentors/accountability partners.

I plan to share more about this study I'm working on, but for now, I'll just ask: Who is your accountability partner? Do you think it's important to have one? What character qualities do you think are important in an accountability partner? I'd love to see your thoughts.

Salvation in No Other Name!

It must be every Christian mother's prayer that their child come to know the grace of Christ and accept His gift of salvation. I have been so blessed in my life to be able to lead my oldest daughter to salvation in Christ. I've always said that I am jealous of that experience with my children. In fact, last spring when I saw that Grace, my second child, was getting close to understanding about accepting Christ, I went and talked to her teachers at church. I asked that if she started the process and I was anywhere in the building for them to please find me because I wanted to be there. I'll be honest and tell you that I prefer to be the one leading them, but if I couldn't do that, I wanted to at least be in the room!

Some people ask me, "Isn't the important thing that they get saved? It shouldn't matter who leads them." Well, that may be easy for some people to say. They haven't invested all the time into teaching my children that I have. From the time they were born it's been me who tells them about Jesus and their sin and the need for Him to be their Savior. My children did not learn these concepts at church, but in the back seat of my car, and at the grocery store, and on our living room floor, and around our kitchen table! My child's Sunday school teacher hasn't been the one to answer 1,001 questions about the topic. It's been me and my husband! So no, in the grand scheme of things, maybe it doesn't matter WHO leads them, as long as they gain salvation, but I covet the experience! And I don't feel convicted of being sinful over this. I want me or Shawn to be the one to lead them, because we've been the ones to teach them.

So you can only imagine how ecstatic I was when we were reviewing AWANA verses on Sunday afternoon, August 30, 2009. Grace is six years old and in the SPARKS club. Each letter of the word SPARKS has a word and verse they have to learn. The acrostic goes like this:

S IS FOR SAVIOR 1 John 4:14
P IS FOR POWER Psalm 147:5
A IS FOR ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPTURE 1 Corinthians 15:3
R IS FOR ROSE AGAIN 1 Corinthians 15:4
K IS FOR KEEP James 2:10
S IS FOR SAVED Acts 16:31

After quoting each letter, what it stands for, and verse, I would ask Grace to tell me what the verse meant. We had gone through S, P, A, & R. We were on K when I asked what the verse meant and she said, "I have no idea!" James 2:10 states, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point; He is guilty of all."

I started explaining about the law, and what it meant to "keep the whole law". We talked about the Ten Commandments and how the verse says if you break one of them, you've broken all of them. I explained that in Old Testament times that a person who did not keep the whole law had to offer a sacrifice for payment of their sins. We discussed how in today's times, we don't offer sacrifices because Jesus , who kept the whole law, offered himself as the sacrifice. All we have to do is choose to accept the gift of His sacrifice for our sin.

I asked Grace if all this was making sense to her when she hung her head and remained silent. I asked what was wrong when she said with tears, "I know I'm not going to heaven because I've lied!" At this point, we went to her bedroom to talk, and the rest is history!

Grace trusted Jesus Christ as the sacrifice for her sin. She has a home in heaven now. She understands that her sin is paid in full, and now she needs to try to live for Jesus. The highlight of any mother's life!!!! Being able to lead her children to faith in our Lord!

Two down, Two to go! I'd love to hear your comments!

Looking After the Interests of Others

I think I am learning more and more why God chose to set His ultimate creation in family units. I knew all along that the purpose of the husband-wife relationship was to demonstrate Abba's desire to have a love relationship with us as our Sacrifice. As I relate to my husband and strive to put aside selfishness in my marriage relationship, for Shawn's benefit, it makes me value the sacrifice Christ made to be my Redeemer.



As a parent, I am learning how God relates to us as His children. This past weekend I witnessed something in my children I was shocked to overhear. There was intense anger and venom in the words coming from my two oldest daughters. I immediately summarized that this, of course, was because I had failed as a parent to teach them properly how to love and relate to one another with words of love, right? Well, I must admit I was a little deflated that they could speak to one another like this and I did feel a little like a bad mom. After all, aren't our children's reactions a direct result of our teachings/examples?



Upon hearing the interaction I was almost speechless. Please note I was almost speechless. Truthfully, I had to hold my tongue because I wanted to say so much! I promptly told them to hug, kiss, apologize, and tell the other "I love you." (This is parenting according to Euna, my mother. I cannot tell you how many times my sisters had to do this!) Then I told them to go to their respective "corners", think about their actions, and that they would be grounded. I hadn't figured out from what yet, but grounded they would be.



As I prayed about how to handle this situation, I pondered quietly while trying to listen to the Holy Spirit's prompting. I figured this would be a good time to contemplate how the Lord relates to us a Father, Abba, Daddy... He loves us so much. I wonder how much I disappoint Him with my spiteful speech about other children that belong to Him? How many times has He had to look into this heart of mine and be heart-broken over the depth of anger and sin He sees in me? Knowing I've let Him down in the same way my own children had revealed their hearts to me, I prayed harder for how to handle the situation in a way that would honor Him and teach them to try to change these behaviors.



I am NOT going to try to tell you that God revealed anything new to me in parenting and that all parents everywhere should try this and it will be guaranteed to work! I am going to tell you that after seeking guidance, I knew peace. I knew that He still loves me even though I mess up. I knew that no matter how my children might disappoint me, I still love them.

The next morning, the three of us sat down to talk about it. I read Philippians 2:3-4 to them. It says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." We discussed the meaning of these verses, and how no matter what the "reasons" for their anger toward one another, the truth was: it all boiled down to selfishness. When we don't get what we want, we get angry. When the other person doesn't do or say what we want, we get angry. It all boils down to selfishness, looking out for our own interests, not the interests of others.

I went on to ground them from several things for one week. Nothing too severe, but I'm seeing a change in attitudes! Praise you, Jesus, for working in my children's lives. Your Spirit is affective even in the smallest of people. Thank you for being the God of family, the God of children and the God of marriage.

Stickin' With Ya

Every so often, I try to sit with my oldest daughter and ask how things are going with her spiritually. For instance, before she left for church camp, I encouraged her to be sensitive to God's leadership and convictions. Last night, I was able to visit with her a little bit.

My goal with this posting is not to tell you our conversation because I wouldn't want to break her confidence. But the concepts of it, I believe, will be beneficial for parents with young Christian children. (Not that I've got a corner on that market or anything!)

Statistics show that children form their worldviews by the time they reach 13 years of age. If the habits and attitudes that are prevalent by that age are good, they will likely have the same ones into adulthood. But the same goes for bad attitudes and habits! If I do not cultivate selfLESSness, my children will bend toward selfISHness. But if, as the mother of a Christian youngster, I impress upon that child that decisions he/she makes when at the age of nine will affect the person he/she is at age eleven. And decisions at age eleven are likely to stick around through teenage years, etc. on into adulthood. Thus, who that person decides to be at age 13 will not likely differ too much from what the person is at age 23. It sticks with ya!

You may say, "I didn't really decide who I was going to be at age 13. I just am who I am." I will say to you, "We all choose how to respond to situations, whether we respond well or not. My eleven-year-old can choose her words and reactions just like I do. She just may not have been taught how to choose the better responses yet."

What about your family? Do you encourage your young ones to choose responses and attitudes based on God's Word, or do you just encourage them to be who they are and express themselves with no guidance or restraint? I'm not talking about discipline or punishment; putting them in time-out for a bad attitude or smart mouth. I'm talking about teaching them to put on the whole armor of God so they can stand against the worldviews that are trying to destroy believers today. That way maybe the child can learn to curb his/her tongue before the words spew and pursue godliness in speech/attitude/actions/etc.

Eye of My Hurricane

Ahhhhh. Cara's home. I feel better now, don't you? We successfully got our nieces where they belong, and got our oldest home. Now it is back to life as normal. At least for a week. Shawn leaves on Sunday for Austin, Texas.

On my quest to get healthy I have begun week five and phase 2. I have lost 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches!!! Wooooohooooo! Praise You, Jesus! I couldn't have done this without Your strength. In phase 2 I step up my exercise routine by adding 20 minutes of strength training twice a week. I also get to choose one area of eating to change my habits and no liquid calories for 30 days. I chose meal portions. Only putting enough on my plate, and not eating all the left-overs on the kids plates while I clean up dishes. Upon self-examination, I discovered that I don't like to throw food away. So I end up eating the food left on the children's plates instead of throwing it out, and that ends up making me overweight! I have to admit I'm proud of my 5.5 pounds and 5.5 inches.


Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the eye of a hurricane? Life is zooming past you and you are in the center standing still. It's calm where you are, but you feel like you need to be in the activity. You feel like you need to do something, but there doesn't seem to be anything to do.


I feel like I've almost been at a place of inactivity with the Lord. Not that He's been inactive! He is always at work. But I'm used to being "at work" with Him. I've had a long spell here where I feel like He's telling me to draw near and be still. Draw near and be still. In case you haven't caught on to my tendencies through all these posts, I don't do "be still" very well. I want to be needed and I want to be "doing" something for my Abba. Not that He needs my help, just that I want to give it.


I'm standing in the center of my hurricane and my children are growing up before my eyes, my husband is struggling through the ministry God has given him, my sister and her husband seem to be booming in their ministry, etc. And here, I stand. Not doing anything. Not working in ministry. Not actively helping my husband. Just standing. Am I the only one?


I want to draw near and listen. I want to be still and know that He is God. I want to be satisfied to be in His presence. I want to be all the things I'm so good at teaching my children about, but struggle to live out daily!

Abba, hear my plea! I want to be right where You want me! I want to do exactly as You would have me to do! I want to know that I am pleasing You. Oh that my soul would be satisfied with Your presence as with the richest of foods. That Your Word would be my daily bread and the light to my path! I want to draw nearer to You, to hear Your words of encouragement and be satisfied to sit at Your feet in worship. Renew my mind. Be my strength. Let me be pleasing to You.

Random Thoughts

I don't really have much to tell you today. Just thought I'd drop some random thoughts out there for blog-world.

• Cara is gone to church camp with my sister's church. I miss her so much; her infectious smile and laughter. I know she is enjoying herself, though and that makes it easier. If she was pining away for me like I am for her, I'd have gone to pick her up already!
• I am keeping my nieces Trista and Carli again this week. All five of the children at my house range in age from 20 months to 6 years old. As you can imagine, there's lots of activity! Thank you, Lord, for sidewalk chalk and water sprinklers and trampolines!
• Shawn is going to be leaving in about 1-1/2 weeks for Health, Safety, & Environment Training in Austin, TX for his job with LSI. He'll leave Sunday evening the 26th and be home hopefully Friday the 31st, but I will miss him terribly while he's gone!
• I'm on my 4th week of exercising! I am just proud to tell you that I'm still doing it. I've never stuck with an exercise program this long. I've not had any major breakthroughs on my weight issues, but I'm not doing this to lose weight (which I have a little). I'm trying to change to a healthy lifestyle. This is going to take time and stages. Stage one was to get into the habit of exercising. That's what I'm working on now. I'll update you next week as to what my next step is.
• I've found that you can memorize Scripture while you walk. I needed something to keep my mind off of the clock while I'm exercising. I thought about carrying an MP3 player, but then I would miss out on hearing the birds and the stream and the cows out by where I walk. So I decided to take my Scripture memory index cards with me! It has worked out great! Keeps my mind focused on the Lord, while doing something productive for my body.

God is showing His faithfulness. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) He never fails to strengthen me when I need it. He knows I have need of His strength before I do. Thank you, Father for your grace and your strength. Abba, I couldn't have come this far without you. And I adore you, praise you, and desire to serve you. Please hear my heart's cry!

I Fear I Blew My Top

My feelings have been hurt today. Someone took it upon themselves to inform me that I am doing my children an injustice by homeschooling them. She felt she was able to make this declaration because her mother observed that one of my children seemed not to act like the rest of the girls her age at a VBS.

I've never really shared my convictions about homeschooling and such on my blog because I feared offending someone who chooses not to home school. May I just vent for a minute here?

I have never told anyone that they were doing their children an injustice because they send them off to school for 7 hours a day to be indoctrinated by worldviews that are so far from Scripture they in no means can be called godly. I have never said this because I believe that every family should do that which God tells them to do. He has told my family to home school.

My goals are for my children to grow to be godly adults, not normal people. One of my children has a tendency to stand off from the crowd and observe people before she jumps in the fun (just like her father does). One of my children jumps into social settings and makes a splash to be the center of the fun. One of my children chooses to set her own standard for fun and if others want to join in, that's great. My youngest is a ham and he hasn't quite figured out where he fits into social schemes. Every child is different. My oldest child went to public school for kindergarten and 1st grade. She acted the same way in those social settings as she does today. That is just who she is. None of my other children have attended public school, but I believe their personalities would follow them if they did.

My point is this: just because something pops into your head does not mean the Lord intends for you to speak it. It may just hurt someone. I try very much so to not be offended by any thing or any one. I guess today my dander got ruffled because someone chose to attack the very core of what I believe I am teaching my children to be.

I don't want normal children. Normal children are self-centered. Normal children act like their friends because they haven't been taught how to be themselves. Normal children lose their virginity before they are married. Normal children generally have no regards for God and His will for their lives. I DO NOT WANT NORMAL CHILDREN! (Please understand, I am not saying that all children who attend public school are ungodly. I am saying I am simply trying to be obedient to God's call in my life to home school my children.)

Yes, my children act selfishly, yes, my children make mistakes and are human. But my children are also the most precious gift God has given me and it's my job to bring them up in His Word. I want my children to find God every day and seek His guidance. I want them to have active lives of Scripture study and prayer. I want them to know that Scripture holds the answers to life, not a schoolbook. I pray they learn how to rely on the Lord for their daily bread. I want them to put Him above everything else in life.

If I have offended anyone, that was not my purpose. I pray you see my heart for my kids and understand that just as you must do for your family what you believe is best, so must I. Only for the glory of the Lord. I'm not sure I glorified Him today when I almost blew my top. Forgive me, Abba. May I honor You in all I do concerning the education of my children. May Your satisfaction be enough for my heart; I don't want to rely on the approval of others!

"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God." Acts 4:19

Sweat Drops of Blood

In the garden of Gethsemane, Scripture reports that Jesus had sweat-drops of blood. We know his horrific death, but a preacher recently revealed that Jesus wasn’t scared of death. He had known that crucifixion would be his destiny since the beginning of time. If this is so, why so much anguish? Because He knew in that moment He would have to become sin.


Remember what He left. Remember the glory He shared with the Father in heaven before coming to earth. God cannot be in the presence of sin. If Jesus was to become sin for us, it meant the first ever separation between the Father and Son and Spirit of God in the history of eternity, not just the history of time. Remember that the Triune God exists eternally. He was before time. He IS in this time and will be for eternity future.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had sweat-drops of blood because for the first time ever, he would be completely human. He would know what it is like to be separated from God. We know this separation because we are born into it, but Jesus was God-Man. He was not born into sin. He lived a perfect life and had never, even in his humanity, been completely separated from the presence of his Father and The Holy Spirit.


As Jesus hung on the cross, he became sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) that we might become righteous. We cannot be righteous apart from Him. In that moment, as he hung on the cross and cried out “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?” he became sin. My sin, your sin, he became sin. It wasn’t for his own sin that he hung there, but for ours. He had never known that kind of separation.

So apart from the cruel way he had to die, he chose to pay the ultimate price. That price was separation from his Father so that we might have a bridge to cross in order to get to Him (the Father). Jesus is our way, our only way to God.Am I grieved over my sin? Obviously I am not as grieved as Jesus was. I don’t walk around with sweat-drops of blood coming from my face. I’m not even sure I cry over my sin like I should. My sin not only separates me from God, but it was the very thing that caused Christ’s death. Shouldn't that shake me up enough not to continue in sin?

I am now undertaking the memorization of Romans 6 so that I can learn how to combat the sin problems in my life. I don’t want to grieve the Lord any more. I want to grieve myself and change it. No, I’m not saying I can be perfect, but I am saying I can be better than I am. How about you?

Lay Off

Monday of this week, my husband received a nasty little letter from human resources at the company he works for. It said, "You are laid off effective July 2, 2009." He called me and I was very proud of myself for not just bursting out wailing in tears on the phone. I was calm, cool, collected and in shock.

His job is good for him. He likes what he does, learning new things and being trained to take on bigger things. God has used him to minister to his co-workers and he enjoys the people he works with. To make things worse, we found out that his lay-off was a mistake, but they couldn't correct it now because the paperwork had never been finished when he was transferred to his new project. Why would God allow something like this to happen?

Because..."you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:3-4) I will confess to you that Shawn and I have not been the best money managers since we married nearly 12 years ago. We have failed to honor God with our finances so many times. Just when I think we've got it under control, something else happens and we choose to not trust God to supply our needs. I know that it takes time, but I was so scared of what would happen to us if he lost his job.

When someone asked me what we were going to do, the only thing I knew to say was, "Well, we're going to keep trusting the Lord to provide for our needs. That will probably take a re-evaluation of what is a need vs. a want, but God will be faithful."

God was already at work though! Shawn's supervisors and fellow employees went to bat for him and found him another position in the company. Boy, does He provide! Was He on time or what? Today, I am singing the praises of my Savior! He is the Savior of my soul, and my life, but also the Savior of my finances and well-being.

Abba, I stand in awe of Your love for me today. I stand in awe of who You are! I am so blessed to be a recipient of Your grace and mercy. I will praise Your name because You are Great! I will sing of Your never-ending love for me! You are God alone, and I praise you.

How has God shown His faithfulness to you lately? I'd love to hear about it!

By the way, I'm on day two of my goal to work-out for 30 minutes a day, five days a week, four weeks in a row. Can I just say I AM SO SORE!!! I didn't even attempt to jog today. I thought sure they'd have to scrape me off the asphalt if I did. Simple sitting and getting up has become an issue today. It's going to be bad again tomorrow, but day four should be easier! Please pray for me!

Victory in Jesus!

Okay, I did it. I got up this morning, read my Scriptures, prayed, then I did it. I started the first day for the rest of my life. I walked/jogged for a full thirty minutes. There were times during the jogging part that I literally thought I was going to pass out! I am not just really over-weight (more than I want to be), but MY OH MY, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!

I decided to take a Scripture and use it as a "Surrender Statement". This is a tool I picked up from reading in Chantel Hobbs' "Never Say Diet" book I'm reading. I adapted Romans 12:1-2. My Surrender Statement says "Lord, today I surrender. I will present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I will no longer be conformed but transformed. Thank you, God, for being my strength." Why victory in Jesus? Because through Him, I accomplished the first step toward my new goal!

I really pray you will celebrate with me. I know thirty minutes of walking/jogging isn't much, but for me it was a milestone! I'm not going to go down and sign up for a marathon or anything...YET. One day I plan to be healthy enough to do it!

Like I said, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Yours too, you know? What do you plan to do with it?

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!" I pray today finds you basking in the Lord's pleasure and in His presence! Reading through the Psalms this morning brought to my mind how gracious Abba is! I am overflowing with songs of praise this morning! Like..."I am His and He is mine! His banner over me is love!"

When was the last time you were overflowing in His grace? I'm so thankful for His love!

I took my children to see the movie "UP" last night. It was fun for our family, very family friendly. I would encourage anyone with children to see it. There were a couple of parts where Grace was a little scared of "the bad guy", but there wasn't anything necessarily gruesome about it. The story concludes with the concept of continuing to live life even after you think yours is over. It wound up with a very sweet ending.

Also, we had a very good supper at Papa Poblanos. We always love the food there! The girls enjoyed the evening, Hazin enjoyed the evening, but I LOVED it! Just me and my kids for a whole evening!

It was so nice for me to be able to feel like I can still have fun with my children and that our life is not all about laundry and chores. You ever have one of those weeks where you feel like all you do is get on to your children? Well, I had one of those weeks! I was thankful for the evening! I am now looking forward to a day full of friends, birthday parties and shopping! What more could a girl ask for?

Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you remember the Lord's mercy and worship Him this Sabbath! May He keep you and bless you. Thanks for stopping in.

Discipline

I recently shared to blog-world that I have been pounded by the Lord about my poor eating habits. I am here to tell you that this will be no easy feat! I know that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know that to treat it unimportant is to misuse Abba's gift to me. I will not sit here and preach to you what you already know. I will simply state what the Lord has told me. "Whatever reason you claim to avoid eating and living a healthy life are just that... reasons... excuses. Whenever you are ready to trust me completely, let me know."

I began reading Never Say Diet, a book by Chantel Hobbs, yesterday. I can't even tell you that I didn't know it was coming. I don't believe she said anything I haven't already heard before. But I did hear something from my heart I'd never heard before. I want my life to be pleasing to Abba. What I am doing now is not working. I am unhealthy and passing down a lack-of-discipline legacy to my children.

I ask for you to pray for me as I go for this goal. I plan to let you know what I'm doing from time to time. I don't believe the Lord wants me to make this a "weight-loss" blog. What I am doing I am doing to be healthy, not lose weight. If the weight comes off in the process, glory to God! But I'm concerned about the kind of disciple I'm being.

My problems not only lie in health related issues. I'm undisciplined in housekeeping, exercise, schooling my children, money areas.... The list just keeps going. I want to be a disciple. How do I accomplish this? By becoming disciplined! I don't want to live by a strict schedule. I want to live holy and pleasing to the Lord! I want to stand before His throne and hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Not "Well, you did a good job some of the time."

I will tell you that I will fall flat on my face. I will also tell you that I will pick myself up, forgive myself, trust God to give me strength and try again. No unrealistic goals here, just getting healthier one day at a time.

My children have had a virus this week, for all of you who prayed for them, thank you! God is so good and faithful. He is the Master Physician. I know that they are all happy to be feeling better.
Aunt June and Uncle Ralph will be in the area this afternoon, so when I get off work, to Broken Bow, OK we go! It should be a fun evening of games and food.

Leave me a comment and tell me where you need more discipline. Maybe we can help strengthen one another in prayer. God bless all who call upon His name!

Pounding

I just have to say that I love blogging! I read and follow so many good, wonderful, godly people in blog world! :) I never new all this fun existed. I also never knew how powerfully God could use computers to pound His message into my brain!

The message? "Quit excusing your bad eating habits and surrender ALL to me!"

The response? "Yes, Lord, I hear you. Please, forgive my blatant ignoring of your call in my life. I surrender. I'm going to need you moment by moment on this journey. Thank you that your mercies are new each morning. I love you, my Savior, my God."

Is He asking you to surrender anything? I could use all the help I can get knowing I'm not in it alone! Let me hear from you!

What to do?

Hello, blog world. I hope today's post finds you doing well and wishing others well. When I find myself between Bible study materials I revert to reading through the Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the chapter that corresponds with the day's date then each 30th psalm after it, you read through them all in one month. Like today is June 10th, so I read Psalm 10, 40, 70, 100, 130 and Proverbs 10. Some very deep things in there.

Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV) If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.

Ponder for a second what life would be like in Christ if He kept a record of sins. Y'all, I can't fathom that kind of hopelessness. I know how black my sin smears on the purity of Christ. If He kept a record, I would have no reason to keep trying. Those of us who deal with depression could be stuck there forever with verse three. But then comes verse four! "But with you there is forgiveness..." Hallelujah! Does anyone besides me want to jump up and shout out praise to the One True God! Where would I be without His forgiveness? On a train bound for Hell with a one-way-no-returns ticket. All of us would be.

Abba, You are gracious and wonderful! My lips sing Your praise and my feet want to leap with joy dancing before Your throne. Thank you for Your forgiveness. I know I am not worthy of Your grace. I know I can stand in Your presence only because I am covered with Jesus redemptive blood shed on Calvary's cross. I praise you today. Because of your unfailing love I can stand!

In other news, I popped something in my neck last night and it hurts really badly. I can't turn my head to the left. Any sympathy you have would be much appreciated! Thank you for stopping in and reading my pitiful little posts. I only pray it glorifies my Abba.